Positive Discipline

By Carol Dores

We all want our children to avoid risky behaviors, especially as they enter the scary teen years. Alcohol use in our town begins as early as 11. Heroin and other opiate use has reached epidemic level all over the U.S. Telling children to “just say no” has not worked. The things that learned through Positive Discipline have good potential for preventing some of these risky behaviors.

Research has shown that the more developmental assets teens feel they have, the less likely they are to engage in ATOD (alcohol use, binge drinking, drinking and driving, cigarette use, smokeless tobacco use, marijuana, and other illicit drugs) behaviors. The developmental assets include eight categories: support, empowerment, boundaries and expectations, constructive use of time, commitment to learning, positive values, social competencies, and positive identity.*

Positive Discipline helps adults in all of these categories. Here are some examples of tools and strategies in each of the asset categories.

· Support – Family meetings are a great example of support, where everyone has a voice, and the family works together to solve problems.

· Empowerment – Believing that mistakes are opportunities to learn is empowering. Sharing your own mistakes and what you learned from them is modeling this, helping children be more comfortable to share their mistakes.

· Boundaries and expectations – Being kind and firm at the same time – “I know that you are having fun playing video games, and it is time to set the table” – is a respectful way to have boundaries. Another way is to have a discussion and reach an agreement upfront, and then following through.

· Constructive use of time – Helping children learn to develop routines encourages organization, and empowers them to manage their time.

· Commitment to learning – Taking a parenting class demonstrates your commitment to learning.

· Positive Values- Caring, social interest and responsibility are all learned in a Positive Discipline home. Getting together to create a list of household jobs, and then each person has responsibility for some is one example of this.

· Social Competencies – Peaceful conflict resolution is learned through problem solving activites.

· Positive Identity – By using encouragement rather than praise, we help children look at within themselves, and feel capable. A few encouraging statement examples include, “I have faith in you to solve this problem, or “How do you feel about your project?”

We learn and practice all of these tools and strategies in Positive Discipline parenting classes. Whether starting with young children or teens, it may just be the best prevention for risky behaviors!

*SOURCE: The Search Institute 1999-2000 aggregate dataset of 217,277 6th-12th grade youth, www.search-institute-org.

Want to learn more about how to be more and see the current class schedule? Visit www.positivedisciplinect.org.

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