Elastigirl

Do you remember the movie, “The Incredibles?”  I once heard an explanation about the superpowers of each character in the Parr family that made a lot of sense to me.  Each family member has the superpower he or she needs for his or her role in the family and in life.  Bob, as the provider and protector of the family, has brute strength.  Helen, as the mother of three children, has super flexibility.  Violet, as a self-conscious teenager, has invisibility and the ability to put up barriers.  Dash, as a young boy, has super energy and speed.  And Jack-Jack, as a baby, has undefined potential.[1]  What is incredible is the brilliance of the writers, directors, and producers of the film!

Lately, I have felt like Helen Parr/Elastigirl.  As a mother and wife who also works outside the home, I have to be super flexible.  Sometimes, I feel like I am being stretched too thin.  At those times, I feel like my super flexibility is being tested to the point where the fabric of my life may be stretched too far and rip.  When I begin to feel that way, I have to reevaluate my commitments and make adjustments.

The adjustment I decided I had to make was to relinquish my role as the leader of my daughter’s Girl Scout troop.  I have been the leader of the troop for four years.  Truthfully, I didn’t become a Girl Scout troop leader because I had a burning desire to do so, as worthwhile as being a leader is; instead, I became the leader of a troop because there was no troop for my daughter to join when she wanted to in first grade.  There were a number of girls in her grade that wanted to join a troop and yet there was no troop for them to join.  Someone had to volunteer to start a new troop and lead it.  I didn’t have the heart to tell my daughter she couldn’t be a Girl Scout because there was no parent that would start a new troop and lead it, so I volunteered to do it.  Four years later, the troop is still going strong! 

As often happens in life, once I made the commitment and fulfilled the requirements I had to fulfill to be a leader, I ended up embracing the role.  I have enjoyed contributing to the development of the girls as their Girl Scout troop leader; that hasn’t changed over the years.  What has changed, though, is my daughter’s commitments outside of Girl Scouts.  Last summer, she decided she wanted to do competitive dancing.  She tried out for a dance studio, made a team, and has been dancing competitively this past year. 

Competitive dancing requires a high level of commitment.  My daughter is at the dance studio five days a week.  In addition to those five days a week, there are weekend competitions, summer competitions, dance camp, and so on.  My husband is busy managing my son’s commitment to a hockey team, and he’s not allowed in the dressing rooms at the competitions, so the responsibility of managing my daughter’s commitment to her dance team falls to me.  The joy of fulfilling her dream and watching her development as a dancer is the reward for all the time, work, and money we are investing.  I have always loved dance and I love watching her dance.

As my elasticity was tested this first year of competitive dancing, I realized something had to give.  I’m not going to stop being a pastor, or an adjunct professor, or a mom, or a wife, or a daughter, or a sister, or a friend, but I could stop being a Girl Scout troop leader.  Slowly, reluctantly, I decided I would relinquish that role and responsibility, even though it would disappoint many people.  Even now, the girls want to continue as a troop next year, and our town’s Girl Scout manager is trying to find a new leader.  I hope she does.

As I was trying to decide whether I would continue as a Girl Scout troop leader next year, I remembered something Henri Nouwen had written, titled, “Give Your Agenda to God.”[2]  Nouwen wrote, “You are very concerned with making the right choices about your work.  You have so many options that you are constantly overwhelmed by the question, ‘What should I do and what should I not do?’  You are asked to respond to many concrete needs.  There are people to visit, people to receive, people to simply be with.  There are issues that beg for attention, books it seems important to read, and works of art to be seen.  But what of all this truly deserves your time?”  That is what I was asking myself.  What, of all this, truly deserves my time?

Nouwen provides guidance in answering that question.  We have to give our agenda to God, surrender to God, and say, “Your will be done, not mine.”  Henri reminds us, “God does not want you to destroy yourself.  Exhaustion, burnout, and depression are not signs that you are doing God’s will.  God is gentle and loving.  God desires to give you a deep sense of safety in God’s love.  Once you have allowed yourself to experience that love fully, you will be better able to discern who you are being sent to in God’s name.”

It is time for me to let go of being a Girl Scout troop leader.  However, at the year-end party for the troop, I almost changed my mind!  The girls were so happy to be together.  But I am not a superhero.  Although I may feel like Elastigirl, I am not her!  I am a mere human, and must rely on God’s guidance and power, not my own.  Thy will be done, Lord; thy will be done.  Amen.

Elastigirl in action as a mom and a superhero!  Any moms out there relate?  http://youtu.be/AUxZRS-8Ir8

[1] http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fridge/Theincredible

[2] The Inner Voice of Love:  A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom.  New York, New York:  Doubleday, 1996, 105-106.  Print.