How One Teen Mom In Danbury Stayed Focused And Defied The Odds

DANBURY, CT — Rubie Rosario got pregnant when she was a 17-year-old senior at Danbury High School. She's 21 now, with her second child on the way. She wants you to know she is living her best life.

Rosario's continuously upward trajectory has been fueled in part by the work of YoungLives Danbury, the local branch of a worldwide organization that empowers teen moms to make "positive choices," and provides them with the support and resources to ensure they don't lose their way.

Rosario got pregnant with baby Mia in November of her senior year, and found herself having to make the most important decision she had ever made. Maybe the most important she will ever make:

"I have to stop my life and raise another, or not have my baby and go to college."

She chose the former, obviously, but not after "a lot" of pressure, not the least of which came from the baby's father. But the father of the child would go on to become a Dad, doing a complete one-eighty once Mia was born. Now he's working two full-time jobs to support the household.

Still, it was a lost senior year.

"It was very challenging when I was pregnant with her, because he was scared and he left," leaving Rubie on her own for eight months. "So I went through that experience, going to school and everything all by myself, I went to Senior Prom by myself, everything."

She was not entirely alone. YoungLives Danbury and the city's Public Schools system had her back. While still pregnant with Mia, Rosario began studying to become a certified nursing assistant through a program offered at DHS, which "pushed her" to stay in the free program and see it through to her certification. The school also ran a program for all the teen moms and moms-to-be at the school, which met daily.

"...to sit, and talk, and make sure we were doing good, and were in a good environment at home for our kids," Rosario said. One of the other young moms at DHS told her about YoungLives Danbury, which ran their own program. YoungLives meets several times a month and provides a vital opportunity for new mothers to rally.

"They provide a sense of counseling for you, so that you know that you are not alone, that you have support from others," Rosario said. "I had support from my family, but I needed that support from somebody who has been through what I've been through. I was the first in my family to make my parents grandparents. I wanted to connect with more girls that were going through my situation."

YoungLives Danbury provides that connection (as well as food, and diapers). There are about 25 young moms who meet several times a month for meals, crafts, bible study and outings like apple picking and mini-golf. The get-togethers are not only times when the women can swap war stories with comrades, but put their guard down as YoungLives volunteers provide some free babysitting.

"We feel like we're young again," Rosario said. "We feel like we have no responsibilities."

Rosario has plenty of those outside that bubble, but she's managing. She qualified for Section 8 housing in Danbury and was able to move out of her parents' place (which she shared with them and her seven siblings). She now works full-time at a nursing home in Ridgefield as a nursing assistant and physical therapist assistant. Mia will start preschool in September.

As she is called upon to mentor other young moms, Rosario recognizes she has been blessed, not only with Mia, but the support she has received from her family, and "the system." Now she makes a point of paying it back by keeping an open door at her home.

"I always tell the girls, if they need someplace to stay, they are welcome to come to my house for a couple of days with their kid," she told Patch. "I have been very lucky... I can't imagine what they must go through when their parents don't support them."

YoungLives Danbury may be doing yeoman's work, but the brighter news is that their efforts are becoming less necessary every year, according to statistics from the Department of Health and Human Services. In Connecticut, there were 8.8 births per 1,000 girls ages 15-19, in 2017, the most recent year for which HHS has published data. But overall, the teen pregnancy rate has declined by 63 percent in less than 25 years. Brighter news still: The rate of abortions among adolescents is the lowest since the procedure was legalized in 1973 and is 76 percent lower than its peak in 1988, according to HHS. (That said, YoungLives is still in need of money for those diapers, and is running a series of "Biking for Teen Moms" fundraisers throughout the summer.)

Although Mia has proven a happy and vital diversion on her life's arc, Rosario still has not lost sight of her first dream. She plans one day to become a nurse for the correctional system, and provide care for the incarcerated.