Darien Playhouse: New Moon

If you are a fan of the Twilight series of books by Stephenie Meyer, then you will love the latest movie New Moon, now playing at Darien Payhouse.

It’s based on her second book of a four-book series about vampires and werewolves and true love.

This series has been wildly popular among both kids and adults. You have to go to the teenage section of the Darien Library to find the books, which puzzles me because so many grownups like them. And kids. My son read them all when he was nine-years old.

Even at that age he was unperturbed by the corniness and the sexiness and the major theme of unrequited love (or perhaps I should say unrequited lovemaking). The coolness of the vampires and the werewolves overcame any reservations he might have had about those themes, and I think he actually ended up enjoying the romantic parts.

All three of us, my daughter (12), my son (10) and I (47) have read the series. Of all the books, New Moon was our least favorite. Mainly because Edward, who is the most compelling character in the series, disappears for most of the action.

But we liked the movie New Moon even better than we liked the first movie, Twilight.

My kids thought it was exciting and compelling and loved all two hours and two minutes of it (it’s pretty long). I thought it could use some editing, and I still don’t think the plot is that spectacular, but I knew that already from reading the book. It’s sort of a relentless teenager-breaking-up-with-teenager drama—and it sort of reminds you of how much that hurts. But once, maybe twice in one movie is enough; you have to live through it three times.

But no worries! Any flaws in the plot are compensated for by the scenery. The Pacific Northwest is beautiful, and, well, so are the men. I, for one, am in complete agreement with all the tweenage girls who were at the Darien Playhouse with us: those guys are hot!

For once, a movie with gratuitous flesh and half-nudity that features men instead of women! Not that Kristen Stewart isn’t beautiful, but she’s covered with Pacific-Northwest-style sweaters throughout the entire movie.

Robert Pattinson, as Edward the vampire, and Taylor Lautner, as Jacob the werewolf, on the other hand ... "OMG," as my daughter would say. Or rather, “Yummy,” which she and her friends shouted out several times during the movie.

Not to mention all of the scenes of groups of half-naked werewolf men walking around (weirdly homoerotic in a way).

Until now Lautner, who plays Bella’s werewolf friend Jacob, has been a somewhat minor character. Knowing the book, we expected more from him in this movie, and he did not disappoint. You get to actually watch him transform from an overly hairy, messy, pleasant-enough teenager with exceedingly white teeth into a brooding hottie with a six-pack and exceedingly white teeth. His metamorphosis is revealed in a scene where he walks up to Bella, who is on the ground with a head injury, and slowly takes off his shirt to use it as a bandage. The whole audience at the Darien Playhouse gasped.

The Director, Chris Weitz (new to this movie; the first was directed by Catherine Hardwicke) works Edward into the movie frequently, in a way that is completely consistent with the book. So the lack of Edward isn’t felt as keenly when you’re watching the movie as when you’re reading the book. You’re too busy looking at Jacob.

The movie is very true to the book, which is why I said if you are a fan of the book, you will love the movie. If you are not a Twilight fan, this might not appeal to you. It’s not particularly cerebral or clever. It’s an old-timey corny romance, with a few cool special effects and a small bit of ultra-violence thrown in. My son enjoyed the movie a lot too, although clearly he wasn’t in as much as a tizzy as my daughter.

If you appreciate beautiful men, or are a feminist and like to see the tables turned and men treated as sexual objects rather than women all the time (ho-hum), then you will particularly enjoy this movie. I actually found it quite funny (yes, I was the oddball laughing) to see young men so clearly exploited for their beauty.

Consider New Moon a wholesome alternative to checking out Alaskan First Grandbaby Daddy Levi Johnston in Playgirl. Ugh!

Darien Playhouse weekend showtimes: 4, 7, 9:45 p.m. (Weekday showtimes vary, call 203-655-7656) Running time: 1 hour 51 minutes. Rated G.