Enfield Woman Aims to Help Others this Alzheimer's Awareness Month

Kathy DiFederico, of Enfield, was planning on donning purple, but was not expecting to “wear her heart on her sleeve” when she agreed to participate in the recent Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Holyoke, Mass. DiFederico, 63, attended the walk with her mother, Rita Costello, on behalf of East Village Place, a Watermark Retirement Community in East Longmeadow, Mass.

Costello, 85, is a resident of the community and is living with Alzheimer’s disease. DiFederico decided to join the walk to get involved, raise awareness and support her mother. However, the touching event offered DiFederico support, too. She realized the power in sharing her and her mother's experiences with the disease to help others in a similar situation.

“When you are fighting this disease, you feel like you are in your own little bubble,” said DiFederico. “But looking out at the crowd that day, I realized that there are a lot of other little bubbles. Everyone was so kind and wonderful; it was a very moving experience.”

DiFederico said she and her mother have found invaluable support at East Village Place, where Costello has lived for about two years. She said one important aspect that has helped her mother thrive with the disease has been having more opportunities for interaction. She said her mother has made friends and connections with the associates and often plays games or works on crafts with her neighbors.

“Whenever I visit, I’m always welcomed to join the activity my mom is doing at the time,” said DiFederico. “It is very comfortable at East Village Place. The associates know how to support the entire family, not just the residents They ease our minds and help us get through difficult situations.”

To further assist residents, East Village Place offers Watermark’s Prema Memory Support program, which provides personalized care and one-on-one support in a nurturing atmosphere through a partnership with the National Council of Certified Dementia Practitioners.

The program features Gourmet Bites Cuisine, in which chefs create nutritious, bite-sized portion meals that do not require utensils, assistance or distractions; a pantry program that gives residents personal space to fill with favorite foods, mementos, scrapbooks and other items with sentimental value; and thriving through music, which encourages residents to create playlists and listen to special songs.

“To help anyone living with Alzheimer’s disease, one goal should be to create moments of connection, discovery and growth,” said Patti Castelli, executive director at East Village Place. “The Prema Memory Support program is a formalized approach to help achieve this. We focus on what the residents can do and encourage them to live life to the fullest.”

DiFederico said elements of the program have especially resonated with her mom, who has always loved good food and music. In recognition of November being Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness month, DiFederico shares some everyday tips for anyone who aids a loved one living with the disease:

• Be patient – “When you don’t have patience, make the visit a shorter one and be okay with it. Some days are harder than others; it’s a lot to adjust to.”
• Be in the moment - “If mom wants to talk about the past, talk about the past...If she wants to repeat a story six times, listen six times. If she wants to cry, hold her hand and let her cry. Just be present.”
• Be kind - “Not just to the person battling Alzheimer’s, but to the caregivers. If you see someone down, share a kind word. Tell them they are doing a good job. It matters.”

Most importantly, caregivers need to remember to take care of themselves, too, said DiFederico.

“I come home from my visit and walk the dog, listen to an audiobook or spend time with friends,” she said. “Make sure to take time for yourself.”

This advice is especially true with the holidays quickly approaching, said Castelli. The holiday hustle and bustle can add an extra side of stress to a caregiver’s already full plate. She recommends a few tips to make the holidays a little easier, found on the Alzheimer’s Association’s website:

• Communicate realistic expectations about what you can and cannot do. Sometimes this can create a sense of loss if you must give up a role you always had, such as making the turkey, brisket, or sweet potato pie, but think of it as a chance for another family member to start a new tradition.
• Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably and safely manage — this may mean much smaller and more casual gatherings, if any at all. No one should expect you to maintain every holiday tradition or event.
• Have a conversation in advance to let others know about any changes they might see in the person living with dementia.
• Consider celebrating earlier in the day, because some people living with Alzheimer's become confused or agitated in the evenings, known as sundowning.

About Watermark Retirement Communities®
Watermark creates extraordinary and innovative communities where people thrive. We believe aging is about renewal rather than retirement. Watermark communities are known for highly trained and caring associates, a lifestyle built on choice, fine amenities, integrative wellness and innovative programs including the award-winning Watermark University featuring a wide variety of engaging classes for residents and area seniors. Based in Tucson AZ, Watermark has been named in the top 25 Best Workplaces for Aging Services in a national program conducted by the Great Place to Work Institute and published on Fortune.com. A privately held company with a reputation for over 30 years for service, innovation, integrity and financial stability, Watermark manages more than 70 retirement communities in 22 states coast to coast. Visit watermarkcommunities.com for more information.

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