Memories: A Life-Changing Event From a Decade Ago

ENFIELD, CT — It's hard to believe a decade has passed since the third most memorable event in my 53-plus years on this planet. Exactly 10 years ago today, on March 14, 2009, the true meaning of community hit me right between the eyes and altered my life forever, when a sold-out benefit dinner-dance in my honor took place at the Mount Carmel Hall in Enfield.

Outside of the births of my two children, the events of that day will live with me until you sprinkle my ashes by the breakwater behind the fourth green at the Samoset Resort and Country Club in Rockport, Maine. This rare, lengthy first-hand account of the occasion will hopefully serve two purposes: to again thank those responsible for pulling it off, and to inspire others to explore the true definition of love, selflessness and community.

The background story started in Sept. 2008 with my unexpected layoff from my job as editor-in-chief of the Enfield Press, my hometown newspaper, followed a week later by the surprising diagnosis of lymphoma in my left femur. A pair of operations followed: first to permanently attach about 12 inches of steel with 11 bolts to stabilize the leg, then 11 days later, an emergency race to Baystate Medical Center in Springfield to remove a massive blood clot ("eight inches of material," said the surgeon who saved me). Those surgeries left me immobile for weeks, and I had to basically learn to walk all over again. In the meantime, my medical bills and living expenses were piling up, and I faced the very real possibility of having to live in my car.

When the idea for a benefit was presented, I drew on my years of experience as a disc jockey at these types of functions, and expected a decent turnout. Little did I know that response would be so incredible that it would be sold out weeks in advance. People were actually online the morning of the event - "my wife and I are hoping someone has six tickets they can sell us" - who would have thought scalpers could have had a field day!

In two decades as a DJ, I had performed at a number of charity events, but never in my life had I seen so many people jammed together like sardines. Walking up the stairs into the hall, my kids, who were 9 and 6 at the time, were greeted by a sea of humanity.

The listed capacity for the hall is 255 people, but I guarantee there were at least 400 there. I had never before seen people attempt to cut food without moving their elbows - it was that tight. In fact, someone remarked to me, "I hope the fire marshal doesn't shut it down," to which I responded, "Yes, that's possible, except for one thing: the fire marshal and his wife are over there in line for their food."

The wide variety of attendees was like a melting pot of society. From supermarket cashiers to a future U.S. Senator, from high school hockey players to the son of an Academy Award winner, from college friends I hadn't seen in over 20 years to some relatives and loved ones who are sadly no longer with us today (among them, Paul Carney, Dickie Madsen, my godmother Marge Lappen, and especially, my dad)- every time I turned around, there was another surprise, another hug, another laugh, another tear.

A number of heartwarming stories emerged from this event, but I will mention only two. One was a card I received from Fermi High School student Evan LaFleur, who said he wished he could attend the dance, but he had to work. He enclosed a $20 bill and wrote, “I know it isn’t much, but I want to help.” It brought tears to my eyes to think that a teenager who most likely makes minimum wage would think enough of me that he would willingly contribute to this cause. That gesture says a great deal about his upbringing, and gave me a greater appreciation for young people.

During the dinner-dance, I was approached by a vaguely familiar-looking woman. She told me that two years earlier, in that very building, I had performed at a similar benefit for her when she was fighting cancer. She told me when she heard about my illness there was no way she would miss this event after what I had done for her.

Seeing as how I was in the middle of chemotherapy at the time, I recall being utterly exhausted, yet adrenalized by the sheer atmosphere in that hall. I never had a clue until that night how much of an impact I had on others' lives, but the outpouring of love and support shown to me made me want to be a better person.

The amount of effort put in by family members and friends to organize this thing was staggering. There is no way I could ever thank everyone enough for what they did for me, but I hope by continuing to do good deeds with volunteerism, I can give back some of what was provided to me.

Even now, 10 years later, I am humbled and appreciative for all the support. I am lucky to have grown up in and been able to serve such a wonderful community as Enfield.

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