New Girl, Raising Hope, I Used To Be Fat

New Girl, 9 p.m., Fox

Ladies and gentlemen, IT IS NOVEMBER. When did that happen? HOW did that happen? And what is with all this snow? I feel like Rip van Winkle. Anyway, baseball is over, some team from the Midwest won, and New Girl is back!! I love this show and trust me, you will too. Please watch it. And sing with me, “It’s Jesssss!”

Raising Hope, 9:30 p.m., Fox

Entertainment Weekly recently did a story on the babies and kids on shows right now and I’m sorry, but the twins who play Hope deserve an Emmy just for smiling all the time. Love this baby(s). Love this show. Love this hour on Fox. Who would’ve ever thought I’d say that?

I Used To Be Fat, 10 p.m., MTV

Dear Biggest Loser watchers: Watch this instead. Love, me.