Top 5 Misunderstood Songs, Open Cockpit, Plays and Services

Good morning, Granbys! Today is Sunday, Jan. 15, 2012; there are 351 days left in the year.

Ah, lyrics. Those nettlesome words that get in the way of what we think a song is really about. We don’t just just get their enunciation wrong, but also their meanings. Ever have your opinion about a song change once you find out what bands are really singing about? My dad was SO disappointed when he found out that the Beatles were singing about LSD in “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.” Anyway, here are my top 5 misunderstood songs of all time.

[Editors note: If anyone knows Kate Beckinsdale, or someone who looks just like Kate Beckinsdale, or, if YOU look like Kate Beckinsdale, give me a buzz. Me likey.]

5. Semi Charmed Life [Original artist: Third Eye Blind] - How can a song that starts, Do Do Do Do Do Do Dooooo be misunderstood? Well, this snappy, upbeat-sounding tune contains myriad references to ingesting crystal meth. Perfect material for a pop song.

4. Alive [Pearl Jam] - Kids, when Eddie Vedder is singing the chorus, he isn’t exalting his being alive. He’s spitting it out in bitterness and anguish over finding out that the person who he thought was his father was actually some other dude, while his real father had just died. Mind blown. Even more mind blowing is that so many fans got it wrong that Vedder reinterpreted the song into something positive.

3. Pumped up Kicks [Foster the People] - Another song with a chorus that sounds just too darn upbeat for the dark material it’s addressing. This li’l ditty is about a young would-be killer who is planning revenge on his hipster tormentors. They better run, better run, faster than my gun.

2. Every Breath You Take [The Police] - Kids, this isn’t a love song. Look at it from the micro-level, It’s about a stalker. Ladies, picture me saying this line to you instead of Sting singing it: “Every breath you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you.” Creepers. Anyway, at the macro level, it’s a sinister indictment on Big Brother and increasing government intrusions on people’s personal liberties. “But.... but.... but... the video is in black and white and looks so dang classy,” you say. Too bad.

1. Stairway to Heaven [Led Zeppelin] - Look, no one knows what the lyrics mean. Depending on who you talk to and your level of affinity for the band, it’s either free-flowing [and perhaps drug-induced] poetry or Rock & Roll gibberish. One thing that it’s not is an ode to Satan or his kingdom in Hell.

[Honorable mention: "I Used to Love Her (But I had to Kill Her)" by Guns n' Roses is not misogynist, though plenty of the band's other tunes are. This one's about lead singer Axl Rose having to put his dog down.]

Here’s your Daily 5:

1. Sunday open cockpits at the in Windsor Locks.

2. Canton Center Worship Service at , 184 Cherry Brook Rd, Canton.

3. "The Haunted Shelves of Hill-Stead" an original play presented by Riverwood Poetry at the Hill-Stead in Farmington.

4. The CT Center for Spiritual Living weekly meeting takes place in Middletown today.

5. Hartford Children’s Theatre presents “Little Women” as part of the 2011-2012 Family Main Stage Series.