Freelance Retort: I Think I’m Missing Something

The soap is getting smaller.

I don’t mean while I’m using it smaller.

I mean out of the wrapper smaller.

It doesn’t even fill out the whole wrapper any more.

Like it went on a diet or something and now its clothes don’t fit.

The tuna is smaller too. 

Along with the can, though.

The tuna knew enough to go out and get a new wardrobe.

Not like the soap.

The box of brownie mix is smaller.

Even has new baking instructions…that includes a smaller pan.

But they take longer to bake….

Go figure.

The box of cookies is smaller.

So is the carton of ice cream.

The crackers too.

Soup…smaller.

Quart of milk…smaller...don’t know how, but it is.

The Gallon too.

Toothpaste.

Mouthwash.

Powder.

And other such sundry items.

Everything is getting smaller, except the prices.

The prices stay the same.

Well, not everything is getting smaller.

Some things are actually getting bigger…like my feet, which is weird.

The big soda bottle actually got bigger too.

Once it was a half-gallon.

Now it’s two liters…which is more…I think.

But a 12 pack has turned into an 8 pack.

Some candy bars are bigger…but they cost more too.

My phone got bigger…then smaller…then bigger again.

So did my ego, and now it took off with the cute ego next door and I haven’t seen it for a while.

I’m hoping it brings back souvenirs, or at least….

For the rest of the story, or to just kill a couple of more minutes while you're weighing your Garbanzo Beans, please Click Here.. 

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