Armoring Up!

When I was in 9th grade or about 15 years old, I decided not to play football like the rest of my friends who were all growing into “hit or be hit” boy teenagers.  I was always a good athlete, able to handle myself when called upon to do so. But it was not my nature to want to kill opponents (or them) and as we all grew in strength, weight and body hair, I became less interested so I stopped.  It caused a rhubarb between my parents.  Mom wanted to let me choose and dad wanted me to finish what I started. Mom won out.  

Anyway, around that time, I began lifting weights more seriously and became a real gym rat that I am to this day.  At the time, it was a way to bolster myself against losing contact with my friends and to express a strong physicality to them and the world.  My “armor” so-to-speak.  Being physically fit has always been a part of who I am.  For 35+ years now, I have trained more or less, most of my life.  I wonder what would happen if I weren’t able to exercise, go to the gym, climb trails and mountains and have the energy I do for massage therapy and life in general.  Would I implode because I associate too much of who I am with how I look? I don’t think so but when I see myself attached to “things” or in this case, my appearance, I wonder…

Job search is a lot about appearances too.  I got such strong advice when in college that I should go into business and sales because I was an athlete, thought well on my feet and looked the part.  Oh brother! I should never have been a Management major and rather, focused on my true interests like English, the Arts, philosophy or writing.   Most every day, I compose one to five cover letters to companies for jobs that interest me and within them; I feel the tug of framing things between what I think the employer wants to see and conveying my Truth.  I’m happy to say, most times, Truth wins.  I am shooting higher than when I began the job search.  Why not have a great job I enjoy and be paid well for?  Are the people in those places more intelligent than me?  No, not really.  If I sell myself short by telling myself I haven’t worked in organizations for ten years so go for the low-middle rung positions and play it safe, what does that say about my sense of self? Heck no! I love big ideas and big brands so I am going for jobs that look for “loud and proud” leadership and creativity.  It is quite amazing the difference in how I feel when applying to a job that really excites than to one that is just so-so.   I will work hard no matter where I go.  Why not shoot high in fields I am qualified for and interested in and let the chips fall where they may?  In the end, who cares what I look like?  It’s about my heart and my Truth as well as my intellect.  If I have the courage to live my life authentically, people will see and feel that and respond.  If they don’t, it wasn’t meant to be.  I won’t lie, I like the way I look and I take care of myself.  But unlike when it all began at fifteen, it is all about the way I FEEL that drives my exercise and all I do.  And that makes all the difference.