October. We're one month into the school year. Time flies. Time flies even faster since we've had kids. Our college freshman is settling into her new school, meeting new friends and doing her own laundry. Our senior in high school is writing college essays and sorting through heaps of college catalogs that stuff our mailbox each day. I'm sorting through my ever changing role as mom. My husband and I are finding a little more time for us. Just when I think I have it figured it out, things change.
Change. It was only a couple of years ago that I heard Fleetwood Mac's 1975 song, Landslide, as my high school junior and I drove through the gates of the college campus. This was day two, driving for hours, miles away from home on that gray rainy day. That was the first of many formal college tours. The windshield wipers waved with the music as I sang along with Stevie Nicks...
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
Singing along, I found myself holding back tears as I squeaked out the words. Things were changing. My little girl was growing up and in a blink, she'd be leaving for college. Just then, she said thoughtfully, "Mom, please don't." We smiled at each other, acknowledging the moment. For her sake, I pulled it together.
She used those same words on the day we moved her into her college dorm, "Mom, please don't." I did. Not in front of her. I had tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat as we hugged, wished her well and waved goodbye. My husband and I hugged. It was another new chapter. A big one. Actually, to me, they're all big.
It's been years since the first time our children, climbed up the steps of that big yellow school bus and waved enthusiastically with animated little faces from windows as they rumbled off to a life of reading, writing, arithmetic...and new adventures. Eager and excited, they were off! Once the bus was out of sight, I had to muddle through my mixed emotions and water filled eyes. My husband and I hugged. We were beginning a new chapter with our kids. He jumped in the car to dash off to work. I was still planted at the bus stop when it hit me. It was just me and Daisy now. As my husband drove by, I choked out, "What do I do now?" He called from the car window, "Walk the dog!" And I did.
Life changes. We can count on that. Change can be exciting, exhilarating or downright scary. We're not always prepared. Change isn't always convenient. Resisting change is a struggle. Whether change is a roller coaster or slow and steady, I do my best to enjoy the ride but the unknown and uncertainty continue to be my challenge.
Life goes on. The dog still needs a walk. Even the dog has changed. "Walk the dog!" has become our mantra. I've been walking the dog a lot lately.
Landslide
By Stevie Nicks 1975
I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills'
Till the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life~~~Mmmm mmm mmm
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
Oh I'm getting older too
Awh, take my love, take it down
Awh, Climb a mountain and turn around
And If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide bring it down
And If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide bring it down
Oh the landslide bring it down.
