Childbirth Education, Part Two: Six Lovely Fringe Benefits

For my last post, I began to discuss childbirth education with a very broad overview. This week, I'd like to begin looking specifically at the type of programs I run and discuss what expectant women and families gain beyond obvious information on techniques specific to birth, the anatomy and physiology of pregnancy and birthing, and so forth.

I've recently had a couple of conversations with soon-to-be parents and parents who have already had kids about why childbirth education matters.  This post is about one area that is often under-valued, about an area that is often the thing parents tell me they loved most about my classes.  This post is about the "Fringe Benefits."

Keep in mind that these Fringe Benefits are not just for the "newbie" parents, these are benefits for “returning parents," and additional birth partners who attend the classes as well.

Fringe Benefit 1: Learn and Practice Positive Communication skills now for smoother Toddler years!

 As my Childbirth Education Program focuses on relaxation as a key component of preparing for and giving birth, you have plenty of opportunity to experiment with “positive language,” or, better yet, as Scott Noyes, parenting educator, expands on this idea, “intentional language.” The words we choose do matter. Putting an idea into a positive framework allows us to create a more inviting form of communication. For example, “Allow yourself the time to practice relaxation.” This phrase is positive. “Don't forget to relax,” however, is negative. One creates (at least for me!) a sense of opportunity, of welcoming in, where the second creates another demand on my precious time! The second phrase gets my hackles up, it makes me feel guilty and as though I am expected to … forget! Guess what? This is how toddlers often process information as well. Have you ever said to a toddler, “Don't touch that!” only to see them, seconds later, reach for it and touch it? Well, apparently this is part of the way our brains, especially as older infants and toddlers, are wired. Toddlers tend to only really process the last couple of word we say, “Don't touch that glass figurine” is interpreted as “Touch that glass figurine!” Yikes! An alternative could be “Hands off the figurine,” or, more simply asking for what we really want, “Come sit at the table,” or “Come play with your toys!” So here's the first Fringe Benefit – relearning how to communicate so it will be easier to do with baby!

Fringe Benefit 2: The Gift of Time for You to Bond with Baby!

You have a scheduled time to sit in a room and put all your other concerns aside and concentrate for a couple of hours on this pregnancy, this baby, this upcoming birth, this new person who will be arriving in the “outside” world in just a few months.

Fringe Benefit 3: The Gift of Time to Deepen your relationship with your Birth Partner.

If you have a friend, family member or partner who will be attending this birth with you, you will have a scheduled time to sit in the same room together and set aside all other concerns while you, together concentrate on this pregnancy, this baby, etc. This allows your Birth Partner to bond with baby, and also to get to know what you are feeling, what you need and want in your upcoming birth, etc.

Fringe Benefit 4: Relaxation!

Many of us are, um, relaxationally (?!) challenged. We don't really know how to do it. We know how to distract ourselves at times, but do we really know how to (breathe deeply here)... relax? The relaxation work that is taught in classes that focus on promoting Physiologic Births (drug-free, normal, vaginal, “natural,” births) is a great help to most of us, pregnant or not. Realizing this, when I teach my classes, we generally begin class with a very short relaxation exercise that can be used any time and then work on one specific additional technique later that same class. The key to relaxation techniques in preparing for birth (whether you plan to use medication or plan for a physiologic birth) is to practice daily. Taking classes also gives you “permission” to take a half an hour or so out of each and every day to work on relaxation. And these skills can go beyond birthing too – for example, I found myself practicing my relaxation skills on a recent, very turbulent, flight out West. These same skills can also helpful while dealing with young children and/or teens, etc. who may not entirely be on the same page and who are telling you so in a less pleasant way.

Fringe Benefit 5: Healthy Eating!

Pregnancy is an ideal time to establish some healthy habits that you can carry forward for the health of your family. Eating fresh, healthy foods, is the perfect example. In my class, I provide students the opportunity to revisit current nutritional habits and review information on healthy choices. For example, from my own experience of pregnancy the first time around, the Nutritional Journal we did showed me that I was really deficient in my protein intake. Turns out that making a positive change there has helped me reduce the impact of hypoglycemia... and the world is thankful that there are far fewer incidents of me being a Super Grouch. :) I also learned to carry snacks all the time, which is, of course, helpful with young kids too.

Fringe Benefit 6: Self-Advocacy!

Related to Positive Communication is the skill of Self-Advocacy. I recently had a friend tell me of her journey with a previously undiagnosed thyroid condition. Very quickly, we fell into a discussion of how, without advocating for herself with her care providers, what turned out to be a life-threatening condition would have gone undiagnosed as well. She had learned skills of self-advocacy from her father, who had had cancer years before. For myself, I learned advocacy skills from my pregnancy/birth/postpartum experiences, and found myself utilizing them again five months later when my own father was diagnosed with sarcoma. Learning about how/when/why to speak up for your own concerns, suspicions, intuition, gut feelings, beliefs, wishes, desires, wants, and so forth benefits families both within the time frame of pregnancy/birth/postpartum/early infancy, and for the rest of their lives.

I find myself challenged to keep this post short because there are additional “fringe” benefits, such as birth, newborn care and postpartum planning, networking with other pregnant couples, how to look for reliable resources for information, how to make choices in care providers and so on. Hopefully, this post has provided you with some additional food for thought to consider. I think it is safe to say that all Childbirth Education provides information about birth. A better program will provide information about choices in birth and give you the evidence-based reasons around which choices are most healthy. An excellent Childbirth Education Program will provide you all of that and also the life-long skills that will help to prepare you for parenthood.

If you are looking for a comprehensive Childbirth Education Program, there are several out there. One is through the Meriden YMCA and begins later this month on Saturday mornings, and there is childcare available for older kids. http://www.meridenymca.org/Content/Childbirth_Education_and_Early_Parenting_Program.asp

I can also be reached via email: mj@ChildbirthCT.com