Dress codes for everyday life

After spending a recent weekend at the Daffodil Fest with 70,000 people; I have some observations I would like to share with all of you.

Is there a shortage of mirrors in the world? I was always taught to check the mirror before I went out to assure I was dressed appropriately; my hair was clean and neat, my earrings were the same and most important my clothing fit properly. Being one of those whose weight fluctuates from year to year and more likely month to month, I always wanted to be certain things weren’t crawling up places they shouldn’t and my “girls” were properly placed and the holder was color-coordinated with the outfit.  

Short shorts should only be made in three sizes – 0, 2, and 4 – anyone who can not fit into these sizes should not wear short shorts – it makes you look silly.  I am all for new styles as long as they look good on the person.  I saw people in shorts this past weekend who should have looked at the mirror and changed before venturing out. So, if you look great in those shorts, please make certain your legs are shaved and have some type of color to them; and please pick the right shoes.

The world does not want nor need to see your thong when you bend over; thanks for thinking I might, but honestly way too much personal preference for me I am glad they are comfortable and you will never wear anything else (until you reach age 50 or so) but please don’t show me your stuff.

I am a plus-sized woman; I know that so I shop in the plus size department-so I am requesting that when you reach this point – walk away from the normal clothes and set your sights on the “Woman Sizes,” stop trying to fit into the clothes that are way too small for your  Romanesque shape; that cute muffin top should stay inside your clothes not out for the world to see; congrats on giving birth; but keep the stretch marks to yourself and your close personal friends and family.  And while I am on the subject, designers please note – I am a big girl but it does not mean I don’t want to wear bright colors and stylish classic clothing – don’t like shirts with butterflies all over them, I think these pretty creatures have become the universal symbol for “I am overweight but I love the world and I am a free spirit”.  Please start designing some good classic clothing at fair price. 

When you wear a shirt with a catchy phrase on it; don’t give me a dirty look for staring, I am trying to read the twenty words you have scrolled across you small chest; not staring just reading – if you don’t want me to read your shirt then wear it inside out.  Also be careful of what the shirt says – I saw a man who was not so well dressed and needed some grooming wearing a red shirt with bright white letters stating “BORN RICH.” I don’t think so – if you were you would have been in Paris.

Why do you think they call those funny lounging pants Pajama pants - because they are just that - pajamas; not something you wear outside your home.  They look silly with smurfs or disney characters (don't get me started on grown ups who wear shirts with Winnie the Pooh on them).  Pajamas are just that; pajamas, pj, sleepwear - they are not pants and please don't wear your sleepers as shoes.......

Ok, men – wife beater shirts look absolutely silly on you in public – wash the car, mow the lawn, but please don’t wear them out in public.  I don’t like seeing you underarm hair caked with deodorant when you wave hi to me.  Also, if you take your time and try on jeans you will eventually find a pair that will fit your “noassatall” or your overcompensated package area.    If you don’t want anyone to steal your wallet – don’t bring it or empty it out once and a while so it will be flat – then you won’t have to wear that ridiculous chain attached to it; you look like a child tethered to your mother; it screams out “lots of money here don’t touch”.

Now you can begin to tell me about my  style or lack thereof...