Crime & Safety

Naugatuck Police Department 'Bed and Breakfast' Opening New Year's Weekend

Police are offering special amenities including: 'Come relax, lounge and sleep on our luxurious metal beds.'

Written by Naugatuck Police Lt. Bryan Cammarata,

Greetings all From the NPD Bed & Breakfast !!

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We here at the NPD B&B are still reeling from the Christmas Weekend Special and want to keep it going into the New Years weekend!!

Due to court not being in session on Monday, we are extending our Holiday Weekend Special …. Get arrested and check in at the NPD B&B tonight, Saturday or Sunday … and get an EXTRA NIGHT on Monday ….FREE ….That’s right .. we said FREE!!

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If you’re a first time patron or considering breaking a law here in Naugatuck…Here is a list of some of the amenities we offer here at the NPD B&B ….

…..Come relax, lounge and sleep on our luxurious metal beds…while you mentally prepare for your next court appearance ….
… Enjoy our tranquil cinder block wall views as you ponder your pending and mounting legal bills …
…Enjoy a bland, cold meal in your suite …. which will surely induce you to ….. well enjoy our next perk…

…. Move your bowels on your very own cold metal commode … which comes standard in every suite …complete with a built in sink that dribbles cold water …. And usually runs / drips all day and night and no extra charge ….. make sure to pass the toilet paper down to the next suite when your done!! …

…. If the weekend is extremely busy … Feel free to socialize during our “nonstop happy hours” and seek legal advice from ”jail house lawyers ” that regularly stay with us … you can share war stories and help convince each other of your innocence as you ring in the New Year with a warm cup of water from your toilet / sink …..

....Once your stay is complete … we will whisk you away to the historic Waterbury Superior Court Building located on Grand Street in Beautiful Downtown Waterbury where you will get a “back stage” pass for a court room session …. Staring – YOU!!!

….Once you arrive at the Waterbury Court House you will be able to share your newly found legal defense plan with your defense attorney, public defender, prosecutor, bailiffs and of course … the presiding judge … a great time is sure to be had by all!!

… Please get the word out to your family, friends and neighbors as we would love to NOT have any customers this weekend … however, it seems no matter how lousy the accommodations … not to mention the cranky staff … our customers just keep coming back to stay with us!!

Our advice again is to use a designated driver, keep your hands and feet to yourself and don’t break into or take what doesn’t belong to you …

On behalf of everyone here at the NPD B&B … have a Great and Safe New Year …. We hope to NOT see you!!!

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