Health & Fitness
Divorce Makes One Feel Like Black Sheep of a Small Town
Being a single parent in a small town is certainly not the norm and not always easy either, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
“Who's the Black Sheep, what's the Black Sheep?”
Yes, that is a reference to an old school rap song that dominated my college years, however it turns out to be somewhat more relevant in my late 30's. About three years ago, I very suddenly found myself “spouseless.” I’m not sure if that is a real word, but I’m going with it! As you can imagine it was certainly a difficult time. Who am I kidding, it was Earth shattering, for me and my children. At the time my kids were 2 and 4 years old and my oldest was attending Christ Church Preschool on Quaker Farms Road.
One of my most vivid memories was attending school board meetings at this small town preschool. I would feel like the black sheep amongst the white. Everywhere I looked I saw the glinting diamonds of rings and, albeit completely assumptive on my part, the glow of the happy family on all of the other women’s faces. I felt overwhelmingly isolated; I just did not belong in this small family centric town. After all, that is the heart of small town living isn’t it? The family: Mother, Father, Kids and Pets.
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I wonder how much of my feelings were the result of living in a small town. I often wonder if I would have felt the same in a bigger town, say, Shelton for instance. At the time, the only people I knew were married. I knew of no other single parents in town. Three years later, I still know of only a handful.
Over the years of course I have learned to wear my single-parenthood proudly. It certainly took some time, but like dying my hair red, it suits me. I have a wonderful group of extraordinarily supportive and generous friends which makes it all so much easier.
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Recently I attended the Babe Ruth Opening Day at Posypanko. As expected there were lots of Oxford families in attendance. As I strolled through, I couldn’t help but think wouldn’t it be nice if there was a universal signal that said, ‘Hey, I’m a single-parent too, you’re not the only one’. Perhaps the old Carol Burnett ear tug would work. (Maybe I need to think about that a little more before I attempt to roll it out!)
