The Nest Is Changing Shape

I’m not sure if it’s the change in the weather, or the fact that in about three weeks, it will be September, but I am feeling apprehensive, nostalgic and a little sad that summer is almost over.

Today, I dropped my kids off at “school” and Jordan has been moved up to the toddler room, while Avery is spending the remainder of her nine days at daycare with her preschool friends.  It’s almost like an out of body experience watching all of this happen.  I never imagined this would be happening so fast.

I feel like we have been so consumed with Jordan’s ears and medical appointments that I haven’t been able to fully comprehend what is happening until these past two days.

Jordan is now in the toddler room, which means he is that many steps closer to no more crib, no more highchair, no more sippy cup, no more diapers (I’m not so sad about this last one).  When I asked him this morning if he would like his juice in the car, he looked at me and said, “no!”  Like I had asked him a million times and he couldn’t believe I had the nerve to ask him once more.  Oy.  Every day he wakes up, he has matured overnight.  His hair is FINALLY starting to sprout and he looks just a little bit too big for his crib.  I swear he is going to wake up one day and launch into a dissertation on “boo-boos” since he tells me he has one every two minutes.

Slow down baby boy, momma is not ready for all of this.

We are making plans to take Avery school shopping.  “What does she need”?  That is what everyone keeps asking me and honestly, I can’t even bring myself to give a good, concrete answer.  Part of it is because I really don’t know- we won’t have a list of school supplies until she comes home from her first day- but the other part of it is, I don’t want to give an answer.  I haven’t fully come to grips with the fact that she will be in school.  She will be given a level of independence that is hard for me to understand.

I want to be sure she will know to ask her teachers for help if and when she needs it.  I am afraid she will get lost and not know what to do.  I know this is unrealistic, but I don’t want anyone to be mean to her, but if they are, I hope that she knows she can defend herself if she needs to.  I feel like I am watching my baby bird leave the nest for the first time and I am so scared she won’t know how to fly.

She is so ready, I get that.  We all know it.  She has been leaps and bounds ahead of where she should be, both developmentally and emotionally, since she was born.  She is so excited to go and I am couldn’t be more proud of her.  I share my sadness, my fears and my apprehension with Jeff.  All Avery knows is that she is a big kid.  She is going to love school and she is going to make a lot of new friends.  Which is the way it should be.

I look forward to letting her pick out her lunch box, all the while having flashbacks to when my parents used to take us to the Thermos factory in Norwich every year to let us get ours.  I look forward to letting her pick out her backpack, which I can already see on her back as she walks into school and into her own space.  As you can imagine, I am crying as I type this.  I look forward to seeing her face when I pick her up and she tells me all about her day and the new friends she’s made.  I also look forward to seeing if Jeff or I win the bet on what time she falls asleep that night from all the excitement and no longer having nap time.  My guess is 6:30pm.

We have just about three weeks until we actually experience all of this, but until then I play it out in my mind and I have a few weepy moments.  We are filling up our weekends with really fun, end-of-summer activities and we intend to make the most of it.

I am convinced she will fly, in fact, she will soar and as much as I will want to keep her safely in the nest, I can’t wait to watch her take flight.

This journey through parenthood is crazy and you really don’t get it until you are going through it.  My mom always said, “when you are a parent, you will understand”.  I am realizing just how true those words really are.  Both of my babies are transitioning at or near the same time, though on very different levels.  It’s amazing, exciting and terrifying all at the same time.

Chirp, chirp babies.  Momma will keep the nest warm.