Preschool Milestones and Self-Injurious Behavior

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.  

Question: I have been hearing about “cutting” in the media and wondered what this is and if it is the step before suicide?

Answer: Injuring yourself on purpose by making scratches or cuts on your body with a sharp object — enough to break the skin and make it bleed — is called cutting. Cutting is a type of self-injurious behavior. Often people who cut start in their early teens and this behavior, if untreated, can last into the adult years. Cutting is a maladaptive coping skill that individuals employ to cope with strong emotions.  Individuals who self injure through cutting will say that the experience an intense release of emotion and stress when they cut. Even cutters agree that the temporary relief does not last. An individual needs to find more effective ways to cope with strong emotion. People that are cutting don’t usually mean to inflict permanent damage, or to keep cutting but these can be end results. Many individuals feel shame after the initial release and swear they will not do it again, but if this coping strategy is not replaced they often will repeat this strategy. Individuals who cut are usually no trying to commit suicide. They are usually attempting to feel better. All individuals who cut should be seen by a mental health professional. For referrals, access Infoline by calling 211, a primary care doctor, or the mental health staff (school psychologist, school social worker, or school counselor) at your child’s school.

Question: What is “developmentally appropriate” for preschool programs?

Answer: It is so hard to make decisions about preschool as it sets the tone for the rest of those early years. It is important to weigh your child’s personality in the mix, but the most important factor is that the program is developmentally appropriate. With No Child Left Behind and the push for academics earlier, many programs are pushing those academics into preschool and losing sight of how to do it appropriately. The National Association for the Education of Young Children has an amazing website that can educate you about what “developmentally appropriate practice” is and where you can read their position statement. More is not always better.