Reducing Separation Anxiety in Preschoolers

Every fall, hundreds of kids in the region go to preschool for the first time. Anxiety often accompanies the first day or week of school. Luckily, there are steps that parents can take to reduce the separation anxiety which naturally occurs in most children. Patch asked moms and teachers, for tips on preparing children for the first day of preschool.

Here are some of the suggestions to help aleviate your little one's anxiety:

1. Go to the school with your child. If teachers are there preparing the room, go inside and say hello. Be sure to talk to your child as you walk throughout the building, explaining how much fun it's going to be and all the great things they are going to learn this year.

2.  Drive by the school each day for at least a week before school starts. Each time you go by, say something like ‘Look! There’s your school! Pretty soon you will get to go and make some friends and have fun. You’re such a big girl/boy! Mommy is very proud of you.'

3.  Put a family picture in their backpack or lunchbox that they can look at during the day to remind them of home.

4. Tell them about all the fun they will have. Make sure they know they will do crafts, sing, play games, meet new friends and have snacks.

5.  Pick out special items for show and tell time that will remind them of home and they can share with their new friends.

6.  Role playing with dolls or stuffed animals is a good way to engage the child in this new venture!

7. Go with them for a couple of times until they are comfortable in their new environment.

8. Be positive and smile a lot. Don’t bribe them to stay, but do celebrate with them at the end of the first day!

9. Put them to bed at the same time and then get them up at the same time for at least a week ahead of school starting. Have them do the morning routine, including getting dressed, eating breakfast and then brushing their teeth. It will make the first day much easier.

10. Go to the library this week and get books about starting school. Read them with your child and she/he will be able to see other kids having fun. It helps them to look forward to going, themselves.

There are several quality preschools in the area, all with certified staff who have are ready for students to arrive. If you are still in need of a preschool, consider the following:

A  recognizes the importance of physical exercise and fresh air. Many a preschool hour is spent playing a colorful play scape in the fenced in yard.

East Haddam Preschool offers developmental activities for children ages 3 to 5. They use creativity, arts and crafts, finger play, songs and games to prepare children for the transition to kindergarten.

offers both daycare and preschool services. The preschool program is for kids between the ages of 3 and 5. It is focused on educational play and learning, providing kids with a variety of educational activities that relate to language, math, science, music and art.

The  started in Edie Rochette’s home, prior to moving to the Haddam Congregational Church. Getting out in the community is an integral part of this preschool, where field trips are frequent. Parental involvement is encouraged.

As the mother of many, I will offer this as advice “Remember, having done everything possible to prepare the child for the first day, be prepared for the tears. It happens. Not always, but some kids will cry. Maybe yours will, or maybe not.  I remember dropping my oldest off, many years ago. She screamed. She cried. She begged me not to leave her. Guilt ridden, I approached the head teacher on the third day. She told me to disappear, and then give it a couple of minutes and then come back for a peek. Obediently, I said good-bye and as she’d done the previous two days, my daughter screamed and cried. I pulled her off my leg and left the building. I listened as the wailing continued. Somewhere about minute two, it subsided. I went back for a peek. There she was, at the sand and water table, laughing with her new friends.”   

Perhaps, it's not their anxiety, but our own as parents!