Tolland High School Celebrates Respect

freshmen and sophomores took a good look at themselves and at each other during last week's Names Can Really Hurt Us program, sponsored by the Anti-Defamation League.

The program, which examines the issues of bullying, stereotyping and creating respect, was a hit with the student population, according to Tolland High School principal Dominique Fox.

"The kids thought the program was wonderful," Fox said, explaining that a student emailed her a compilation of Facebook statuses praising the event almost right after the all-day event had concluded. She said that the student followed up with a second email with even more positive feedback.

Fox thinks that the themes of respect and treating others well are what resonated with Tolland students.

"They may not be in the same social group, but they may have likes or interests that cross paths," Fox said. "The platinum rule is treating others as they would want to be treated."

Preparation for the program began earlier in the year when 30 adult co-facilitators and 36 student facilitators met after school hours for training on Names Can Really Hurt Us. The student facilitators were generally members of the school's .

The student facilitators were paired with adults who guided small groups of students throughout the day, whenever the program broke down into mini-sessions.

Students would focus on different activities during the mini-sessions, such as identifying how they could use different parts of their bodies to stand up to bullies and how to be an ally for a student being disrespected.

In the large group meetings in the auditorium, Fox said that the students learned about the four roles a person can embody in a bullying situation: the target, the perpetrator, the bystander and the ally. They also watched a skit developed by students, all of which portrayed the crucial message:

"We're not all the same, but accepting those differences makes us better people," Fox explained.

However, Fox said that the most powerful moment of the program may have been when seven courageous individuals told their own stories of bullying, stereotyping or disrespect.

"A story might have been about somebody describing how she was the target of bullying in elementary school," Fox said. "Every kid seemed to be able to connect with the stories. It was very powerful. You could have heard a pin drop."

Fox said that a number of school professionals were present in case any of the students were overwhelmed when sharing their stories.

Students were also allowed to share their thoughts or apologize for disrespectful behavior during an open mic session, which Fox said was both moving and popular. She said that they had to limit the time for comments just to make sure that they could finish the program.

Overall, Fox hopes that the Names Can Really Hurt Us program can become part of a larger conversation about respect at Tolland High School, which has been integrating a Positive Behavior Intervention and Supports system over the past year, which focuses on erasing targeted behaviors to create a more positive school environment, according to the school's Web site.

"The idea of respect isn't new to us," Fox said, "but we need to have  conversations that keep going." 

Fox said that the school may consider holding the program again in another two years, which will ensure that the entire school population will have gone through the program.