Finding a Label That Fits

I feel compelled to write today because it is autism awareness day.  My husband and I have tried all different labels on for size to diagnose my son, and still haven’t come up with one that quite fits. I, however, sometimes feel like an imposter. My son is definitely PDD-NOS – he has pervasive development delays/disorders. However, he really doesn’t have any of the behavioral issues that go along with an autism spectrum disorder. He transitions very well and doesn’t care too much about routines (other than getting to take the bus to school and home because he loves the bus). He is extremely friendly and highly social. The thing that gets the most in his way is his not understanding or not being on the same level of what’s going on around him. We have tried many labels on to see if they fit, privately in our own home we say them and test them on for size, however, we have not found one label that fits comfortably. My son is 10 now, so I don’t foresee us ever finding our comfort level with his disability. But I guess that is what is so frustrating about autism or any other disability – there is no one size fits all.

So this leads me to the my next problem – how to describe or explain to other people when they say, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what is his diagnosis?” (I do mind, but not because somebody noticed or asked, more because I’m perplexed to answer). Where, exactly, do I look for services as he gets older? How do you see outcomes for a disability that is so individual? As autism becomes more commonplace and diagnosed, the country is in a panic. I, on the other hand, am a bit selfishly glad. Because with more diagnoses there comes more understanding and more services available for my child. Of course, I also feel bad because I wouldn’t wish a disability on anybody.

So today, on this autism awareness day, I would just like everybody to remember that it is important to be aware of autism, but it is also important to remember that people are so much more than what they are labeled. That each individual with autism is an individual first, and has autism second. And that even within autism, it’s still hard to find the perfect label.

So, how to describe my child? The sweetest, friendliest boy I have ever met in my life. He brings a smile to everyone he meets with his friendliness and enthusiasm. Even though I am extremely worried about his future, it seems that he is comfortable and taken care of wherever he goes because people just like him. I guess the best label for him would be “Gift”, because he is just so happy all of the time and it makes those around him happy as well.