Signs Your College Student is Struggling with Drug or Alcohol Use

Your college student is home for the Winter break and you look forward to connecting with them face-to-face. After a semester at school they’ve faced academic, social and emotional challenges. One of the most dangerous is exposure to alcohol and drugs. “There’s no secret that ease of access to alcohol and a variety of drugs only increase at college. Partying is part of the passage,” says Julian N. Hartt Jr., MSW, LCSW, Clinical Director and Co-Founder of The Next Right Thing. This West Hartford-based clinical specializes in community-based substance abuse and mental health treatment for adolescents (ages 16-23) and their families.

“You can expect to see some subtle or not-so-subtle changes in how you child looks and acts when they come home for semester break,” he says. “It’s easy to dismiss or misread these signs as normal for college life; as just ‘a stage he’s going through.’ Many parents we deal with don’t know if these changes are something to be concerned about. They aren’t sure if things have gone beyond what’s to be expected. They’re not even sure how to begin the conversation about the impact of drugs and alcohol.”

Hartt offers these questions as a way for parents to judge whether the changes indicate drug or alcohol issues:

• Is he or she evasive or secretive when you ask about their classes and friends?
• Are they lying about things of no consequence?
• Is money missing from the accounts you fund?
• Are possessions like laptops or phones missing without explanation?
• Is he or she suffering from flu-like symptoms but without a temperature?
• Are they sleeping too much or too little?
• Are they eating too much or too little?
• Do you see a lack of motivation or interest in activities?

“If you can answer yes to two or more of these questions, it’s time for a difficult conversation with your child about their use of drugs and alcohol,” he advises.

He points out that access to drugs has never been so easy: “Chances are that many 20-somethings have already tried a variety of pills like Xanax and Percocet.”

He also advises parents to take immediate preventative action if they see flu-like symptoms like sweating, muscle aches and diarrhea without a temperature because these are signs of drug withdrawal. “If your college student exhibits these signs of withdrawal he or she is at the greatest risk for relapse and overdose. If you see these signs, take immediate action. Get to your local pharmacy and purchase the overdose medication Narcan as a precaution.” Most critically, he suggests asking, “Are you willing to take a home drug test so that I know you are safe.”

And if you suspect your son or daughter is in the grips of drug or alcohol, he urges parents to begin what will probably be a difficult, but necessary, conversation. “You’ll need to probe. You’ll need to ask questions. You’ll want to follow the money and follow the lies,” he says. “Check their bank accounts. Was her laptop really stolen or could she have sold it for cash? And why is she telling so many meaningless lies? What’s she really not telling you?”

How does a parent begin such a tough conversation? Hartt advises starting the conversation with observations about behavior. “It might go something like this: ‘We see you’re out of money and you’re not being really honest about little things. Are you O.K? Are you willing to take a home drug test so that I know you are safe?’” The answers to these questions can open the door to a much deeper conversation and ultimately to the truth,” he says.

No one want to think their child is battling something as life-changing as a drug or alcohol addiction, but ignoring the lies and behavior will not take that possibility away. This semester break is a good time to have those conversations and to begin the fight for your child’s life. That fight begins with you as a parent.

The Next Right Thing offers free parent support groups beginning in January on Wednesday nights at 7:00 p.m. Anyone may attend to meet with other parents and discuss their concerns and doubts.