If Facebook Were a Country

Carol McManus of Darien's "Y Wait 4 Success" presented "Linking, Friending, Tweeting, Oh My!" at 's Parent Teacher Organzation meeting earlier this month.

"The horse has left the barn with the doors wide open," McManus said. "The question becomes, how do we manage it and how do we make it worthwhile?"

McManus said that the idea that social media websites such as Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn are "fads" is false; Facebook alone has enough members to make it the world's third largest country.

Several who attended expressed concern about privacy issues and bullying, while also indicating a reluctance to join social media sites themselves. Some called it "noise" or "an empty experience" while another said that she was afraid of getting "obsessed." 

"A total absence in the world of social media hurts as much or more than a bad picture," McManus said. She noted that students, especially those who are interested in the arts, should be strongly encouraged to use sites such as Facebook or YouTube to establish online portfolios.

"Eighty percent of college admissions officers use [social media] as a tool not just to check up on, but to get in front of potential applicants," she said.

According to McManus, 62 percent of students improved their chances of admission because of Facebook or other web pages. Thirty two percent hindered them.

McManus also said that parents "need to be on [these sites] to check on what your kids are doing.

"You can't put the fire out," she said.

Many moms expressed frustration that advice about online presence and the damage it can do often falls on deaf ears; McManus suggested using the "2-minute litmus test," which asks the student to consider how an aunt or teacher might feel about what's being posted online.

She indicated that portfolios or performance clips and community service activities are definite "dos," while coarse language, poor grammar and "cute or suggestive email and website addresses" are "don'ts."

McManus said, "content is king," and impressed upon the audience that social media is good for teens because of the connections it allows them to make, but must be managed actively and productively.

She also provided several tips for adults.

"I know a highly regarded recruiter in Fairfield, and she said that if [a potential candidate] doesn't have a complete and engaging profile with a photo then it doesn't even get looked at," McManus said.

"She said that LinkedIn is like 'picking cherries off a tree,' there are so many good candidates out there."

Teens and adults benefit from social media if his or her online reputation reveals that he or she is "likeable, friendly, and kind," known for "delivering great service and taking care of clients," and is "active and engaged."

Many noted that Weston's kids seem to be light years ahead of their parents, and that expressing themselves through social media comes to them intuitively.

However, watching for signs of "Facebook depression" is important. Comments about not being "worthy" or being unable to "keep up" are clues, as are feeling vulnerable or "not good enough."

"Help them find the site that will make them more secure," McManus said. "Don't be a voyeur; voyeurs get left behind." 

McManus is a certified Executive and Life Coach, in addition to speaking publicly about the benefits and risks of social media, and enjoyed a long career as a senior vice president with Coldwell Banker. Y Wait for Success offers coaching, consulting, management training, and marketing services.