Diagnosis: Life-threatening! Prognosis: Uncertain. Doctor's Grade: D-

It was a really bad cough, dry, harsh and persistent. Perhaps a virus? Maybe bronchitis or pneumonia? The doctor listened intently with his stethoscope. His pronouncement of a heart murmur took me completely by surprise! He immediately ordered a chest x-ray.

Then followed a torrent of medical words: Congestive Heart Failure (CHF), enlarged heart, fluid in the lungs, mitral valve damage, cardiologist, and echocardiogram. My attention glommed onto those words that  sounded the loudest to me and were the most frightening. Any other words the doctor might have said like “treatable” or “medication” got lost in the black hole of my distress.

And this diagnosis was not even about one of my children or grandchildren. It was the diagnosis recently given to my seven-year-old Maltese Pet Therapy Partner and totally devoted companion, Bromley. Dog lovers will understand that I could hardly have been more upset if a two-legged member of my family had developed CHF!

Information, Action

Bromley was started promptly on a cough suppressant and a diuretic. A call was made by the receptionist for an appointment with the cardiologist ASAP, all of which made eminently good medical sense.

But the diagnosis felt to me like a death sentence for Bromley, in large part because the doctor, (who was my regular vet’s associate) coldly delivered his shocking news without a glimmer of compassion or concern for my reaction.  Consequently I spent the next 24 hours in a serious tizzy, calling family and friends for support and advice.

I rushed to my computer and Googled CHF to get all the information I could about this life-threatening heart disease and the treatment options. Some information was actually reassuring, some quite the opposite, but at least my “research” filled in some of the blanks and gave me the structure and the language I needed to ask the right questions and perhaps understand the answers.

Doctor Dissatisfaction

Being a woman of action and very upset at what I experienced as the cold, uncaring attitude of the diagnosing doctor, I asked around among my dog-loving friends for a good vet so I could leave that practice right away. I even went so far as to actually call the office and ask for Bromley’s records to be faxed over to the new vet.

And then, after what felt like an endless day of telephone tag, I finally spoke at length with my own vet. He told me that CHF was NOT a death sentence, that Bromley’s condition was treatable with a medication cocktail that the cardiologist would prescribe and he, himself would monitor, and that it was quite possible Bromley could live out his normal life span. He apologized for not being able to see Bromley in the first place and would make sure the receptionist would find him if I had an emergency with Bromley. In spite of the fact that I told him I was leaving his practice, he offered to see Bromley on a courtesy visit and to consult with me at any time I called in the future.

Frankly, his words melted my heart and lightened my mood so I made an appointment with him to examine Bromley the next day. Based on that reassuring and supportive consultation, I decided to remain in the practice with one proviso: I would see his associates when absolutely necessary, but preferred not to have the doctor who diagnosed Bromley’s CHF among them.

I also took the opportunity to lay out exactly what had gone wrong at the hands of his associate that had caused me so much anxiety. And I suggested that he give him some lessons in compassion and in how to deliver a serious diagnosis in a more supportive way.

I felt infinitely better after our consultation. I had a fuller understanding of Bromley’s condition, treatment and prognosis and I was reminded once again that speaking truth to power is empowering. Doing so can get the desired results!

PEARL OF WISDOM

With all due respect to non-dog lovers, medical crisis - whether with pets or parents - have some interesting parallels. In either case, if medical professionals are not treating you with respect and compassion, speak up. If that doesn’t help, take your business elsewhere!

© Joan Blumenfeld, 2013

PEARLS OF WISDOM is written by Joan Blumenfeld, MS, LPC, a Geriatric Care Manager in private practice in Fairfield County, Connecticut. This blog on eldercare issues is intended for general interest only, not as advice for specific cases. To make an appointment for a private consultation, please call 203-845-0191. Or visit www.joanblumenfeld.com.