As a therapist who treats teens, it is clear to me that many high school students are frazzled. Fully aware of today's intense competition for entry to colleges, many are up late at night completing homework. Their afterschool hours are crammed with activities -- sports, theater, SAT tuors -- and jobs. Many can't even begin to tackle their homework until 8:00 pm. These kids are exhausted. When you add social pressures, the emotional demands of growing up and assuming new responsibilities, and college planninng, it is no wonder they are stressed.
While some stress can be motivating, too much stress can be debilitating, leading to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, and physical illness. How can parents help? Here are a few suggestions:
Acknowledge your own stress regarding your teen's growing independence and educational future, and try not to impose your own anxiety on your teen.
Foster your teen's autonomy. If you sense that your teen is overwhelmed, help him/her brainstorm ways to manage their time and prioritize.
Back off sometimes. Let your teen learn from his/her own mistakes, but still provide support.
Be there for your teen. Nurture him/her with hugs, family meals, and time together.
Keep things in perspective. Remind your teen that while you have high expectations, it is not their grades or accomplishments that matter, but the kind of person they are.
Build a strong emotional relationship with your teen. Teens are better able to launch from a solid home base.
Make sure you teen has downtime to relax with friends, listen to music, and just get a break.
If you sense that your teen is too overwhelmed, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Teens often benefit from having a safe space, free from the pressure of teachers, parents, and peers where they can discuss their feelings, gain new perspective on their stresssors, and develop new coping skills to manage them.
For more information on me, go to: www.carolsampsonlcsw.com
