Feel like there isn't enough of you to go around?

I know, it is counter-intuitive. However, the better you feel, the more you can do.

A friend posted on Facebook, looking for date night ideas. It brought back all kinds of memories of when our kids were younger.

When our first was born, we realized pretty quickly that all of our attention and energy was going to parenting, working, and keeping a house going. We were sleep deprived and burned out pretty quickly. Within six months, we knew that we had to start reconnecting as adults, partners, husband and wife. So we began a Saturday night date night routine.

On our first date night, we called each other “Mommy” and “Daddy”, and that quickly became one of our rules – we had to use each other’s first names. We set another few rules…no talking about our son, and no talking about work or household responsibilities. I remember it took us a while to get back to connecting as a couple. We were totally consumed and overwhelmed by lack of sleep and a huge sense of responsibilities. We slowly began to laugh again. Hold hands. Do that gazing in to each other’s eyes thing. We also began to appreciate how hard “it” is, and connected on a deeper level.

We continued our date night routine for many, many years. We now have two adult children, and will happily celebrate our 31st anniversary later this year.

What does this have to do with parenting and Positive Discipline?

Well, if we as parents are totally burned out and not connecting with our spouse/parenting partner, guess what. We will not be able to be the kinds of parents that we hope to be. Children know when there is love in the house, and when there is tension and stress. Their mirror neurons reflect what is going on….so if you want them to feel a sense of belonging and love, you need to feel that. A loving household can overcome a lot more obstacles. When you as adults are problem solving together in a healthy way, you are teaching your children to do the same. And ultimately, when they get married, they will have grown up knowing how important connecting with a spouse is.

My parents were married for 58 years. They had a date night every Saturday night. I totally remember them, and am quite sure they didn’t call each other “Mommy” and “Daddy”.

Take the time to connect with each other. It’s worth the babysitter money.

Want to learn more about building strong family bonds? Sign up for one of our Positive Discipline Parenting Classes! This is the last week to register for our winter classes! http://www.positivedisciplinect.org/parenting-classes/

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