Raising capable kids

I remember never having a clean the house, and always feeling overwhelmed. The kid’s stuff was strewn all over. The laundry was not done. There was unidentifiable stuff on the kitchen floor. Dust bunnies everywhere. And we both worked full time outside the home. So it truly was an exhausting scramble to get food on the table and all of us in clean clothes.

Why is it just the parents’ job to keep a household running smoothly?

I now realize that we as a family are responsible for the house, not just us parents. Our kids actually feel better when they contribute and feel a part of the household, rather than being catered to. We as parents can share the responsibility with our kids, which helps them believe they are capable. There is also more peace and calm when we are all working together.

So how can we go about involving our kids without making them feel dumped on?

· Get together as family, and make a list of all of the things that need to get done around the house, including things like food shopping, making breakfast, lunch, dinner, mowing the lawn, laundry, dishes, feeding the cat, walking the dog, cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming, etc.

· Then talk about how it’s important that everyone living in the house is an important contributor to getting things done. There are different ways of dividing up the list. You could each take turns saying what things you’d like to be responsible for. You could make a jobs wheel, and every week, you spin it to decide who is doing what job. You could put jobs on Popsicle sticks and put them in a jar, for each person to pick out. The important part is to all be involved and making it fun.

· You can set aside time for each of you to be doing your part, and then enjoy a bowl of popcorn or ice cream together.

What we found was that one of our sons loved to cook. Another enjoyed mowing the lawn and more “heavy lifting” things. One hated bathrooms, and the other loved to have a shiny mirror. They both knew that if they wanted clean clothes, they had to do their laundry. One learned to iron because he didn’t like wrinkled clothes.

It’s amazing how capable our children can be…when we encourage them!

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