Teaching kids responsibility

How many times have you scolded your children for not being responsible? How often do you wish they would just do what they commit to do? Or do they shy away from making commitments? How many adults do you know that expect others to remind them of what they promised to do?

Maybe we need to begin by taking a look at our own behavior.

Do you make promises that are not kept? Do we make commitments and then expect others to remind us? Things get in the way of going for that ice cream, or making the phone calls you were responsible for.

Our children learn by seeing what we do.

Here are some ways to help our children learn to be responsible.

· If you are going to make a promise, make sure it’s one you can keep. For example, if you say you will watch a movie with your children when you are done with the dishes, follow through on it. What happens if you ended up with less time than you thought? Talk to your children, and see if you can come up with a solution that’s agreeable to all. It might sound something like this, “Cleaning up after dinner took me 20 minutes longer than I thought it would. I’m concerned that watching the whole movie now will put us way past bedtimes. Any ideas for what we can do?” And then see what your children come up with. Often, they are great problem solvers.

· When you make a work or volunteer commitment, make sure you are following through, and that your children know you are. For example, if you commit to make 10 phone calls, talk to your children about it. “I need to take the next 40 minutes to make these phone calls I promised to make.” Modeling the behavior you want them to learn is important.

· Summer is a great time to practice responsibility. Most families have more time together. Coming up with family jobs and agreements on when they will be completed by can be a win-win. It’s important that children have a say in what jobs they will do, and when they will be done by. For example, “I’ll mow the lawn on Sundays by 5 PM.” If the job’s not done at 5, you can ask, “What was our agreement?” and then wait for the response. Usually, the lawn will then get mowed without arguments.

Let’s all help to raise responsible people who follow through on their commitments without needing others to remind them!

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