Will I ever get a good night sleep?

I remember coming home from the hospital with beautiful newborn babies. They needed to eat every 3 hours. Of course they neglected to tell you that the 3 hour clock was from when they started eating, so it was more like every 2-1/2 hours. One of our sons slept through the night on his own at five weeks, just before I went back to work full-time. The other son, not so much. I went back to work when he was six weeks old, and after four months of severe sleep deprivation, knew something had to change. We were assured that he no longer needed to be fed during the night, and this was just his middle of the night need for attention. So my husband and I held each other down throughout the night for several weeks, while he learned to self soothe and sleep through the night.

It is amazing how many parents talk about not being able to get the sleep they need.

We are told to first put our oxygen masks on, and then help those around us.

Sleep is a parent’s oxygen mask. Without it, we cannot function well in our role as a parent. Our emotions naturally run high, and we are not able to model the calm and caring parent we hope to be.

So how can you help your child sleep through the night?

· Many parents find it helpful to let their children cry. If you are consistent, this usually will take no more than five days. Some parents cannot stand the sound of their baby crying, and have slept out of hearing range.

· Babies cry as a way of communicating. Like when they get older, it is fine to allow them to have their feelings without rescuing them.

· They have needs and they have wants. Sleeping is a need. Sleeping with you is a want. Have the courage to do what is best for all of you in the long term.

· Your child will not feel unloved by crying herself to sleep, as long as you have spent plenty of quality time with her, holding her, playing with her, loving her.

What does allowing your baby cry himself to sleep help him learn? That he is capable of handling the natural function of sleeping without depending on anyone else. He can learn confidence and self-reliance. And finally, that his needs are met. Not all of his wants may be met, so dealing with disappointment can also be learned.

Want to learn more tools and strategies for raising self-reliant, independent children? Visit www.positivedisciplinect.org.

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