Parental Judgment

This post is inspired by the stink eye I received, from another mom, at the grocery store the other week. I had both boys with me, and they were misbehaving. As you may know, some days are good and others aren't. Anyway, this other parent had her two kids. Two quiet, calm, and infuriatingly well-behaved kids in her cart. As my kids tried reaching for everything in the aisles, she was present. When they waved and said "Hello" to her, she ignored them (the judgment had already been made). Then of all the hundreds of people that could've been behind me at the cashier, she chose my line. By this point, the kids were out of control and melting down, and so was I. I was clearly annoyed and frustrated with their behavior, especially when I had Judgy McJudgment behind me! She wouldn't look at me, but kept looking straight ahead in an annoyed-what-horribly-behaved-kids-you-have kind of way.

In that line I realized my frustration was more towards this other mother, than it was towards my kids. It is hard for me to understand why some parents are not empathetic and understanding of others. Do their kids never misbehave, have tantrums, scream, bleed, breathe...?? I get it when you're the hung-over, college-aged kid behind the cashier, but a parent? How nice would it be if we lived in a world where parents offered you a smile instead of a stink eye; an "I've been there" instead of an "Ugh."; help opening the door with an over-sized stroller instead of continuing to walk; a "Do you need help?" instead of doing nothing at all. I try to do these things. If someone's child is having a tantrum, I look the other way rather than mortifying the poor parent even more by staring.

Don't get me wrong, I've definitely caught myself thinking "ok...not the best parenting method..." before; but then I quickly remember that at any moment in time, I'm but a few moments removed or away from my kids having another meltdown.  I remember that maybe this one outburst isn't how the kid or the parent normally reacts... maybe they're just having an off day... or maybe they're just, I don't know, normal?  So to that judgy woman from the grocery store - I understand that it's easy sometimes to look at a misbehaving child and assume the worst... but I hope that next time instead of jumping on that high horse, or developing parental amnesia, you could show some humanity and understanding for what we all go through as parents.