Thousands of Companies now Moving to Mexico

Thousands of companies announced plans to relocate to Mexico the day after Trump brokered a sweetheart deal with Carrier to keep a few jobs in Indianapolis. In a sad tone, thousands of companies issued separate press releases regrettably expressing how much they wish they could be patriotic and stay in America but that it was just not profitable in their state either. In closing they expressed their hope that somehow, something or someone would intervene and make it possible for them to stay in America. President-elect Trump’s offices were inundated with copies of these announcements.

One company executive said he was pensively sitting by the phone waiting for the dreaded call from President-elect Trump while his management team was working out the terms of a deal under which the company could joyously stay in America. “We know that President-elect Trump is a ‘big league’ deal maker and all of our attorneys are very fearful of what types of subsidization, tax breaks, concessions, or other incentives he might threaten us with when he calls. We hope he will realize just how patriotic and dedicated to America we really are.”