Welcome to Moe's

"Welcome to Moe's!"

They all scream it as you enter the building and I don't mean just the dishwasher or maintenance man. Even the managers stop what they are doing to face the door and give the welcome call to all.

Good way to start a relationship, even if it's all about food. I wondered if I would be met with all the exuberance at 2 in the afternoon but sadly, no.

Instead I found a couple of guys who were having fun while the boss was away. The one almost in the kitchen was doing his rendition of a man falling off a skyscraper and yelling "Welcome to Moe's" as he passed each floor on his way to the sidewalk. It was sort of an echoey thing like "Welllcommmeeee toooooo Mooooeeeee'ssss" and it did sound funny, so we were off to a great start.

As I approached the counter, as I've done so many times in the past, I looked at the back cook's line. It wasn't the usual spotless image that I am used to seeing at Moe's. It was in disarray and there was even stuff on the floor, which is highly unusual at this Moe's Southwest Grill location, 6020 Winthrop Town Centre Ave., Riverview.

I ordered the usual Joey Bag of Donuts with pintos and steak with extra cheese for my wife and I was in the mood for a Billy Barou with a steak and pork split, cheese sauce on the side.

I watched as the guy pulled the tortilla off the steamer then toss it onto the foil wrapper for the toppings. I watched him as he took a spoon of rice from the pan and spread it along the tortilla. The rice was different colors and some even looked burnt, but I didn't say anything, until now. He pulled a spoon of pinto beans from the juice and poured it over the rice and it's probably because my mind was on the old rice, but it didn't seem like nearly enough.

Isn't that the way it happens? Once you find one little problem, you turn into a nit-picker, and I guess I followed that pattern for a few minutes, anyway. And while I'm off on this little sidebar, who gets a job naming menu items for these guys and what does a bag of donuts have to do with a burrito and why is the biggest one called a homewrecker?

The guy then added some steak, eyeballed the food and then added some more meat. He must have read my mind. I told him my wife was a cheese freak so he definitely gave me extra cheese so I'm getting out of my bad mood in a hurry. Some other customers entered, so he passed my order onto skyscraper guy and went to tend to their order.

The funny one goes to work on my Billy Barou and I say funny because he reminds me a little of John Belushi with his facial expressions. He stacked a whole bunch of tortilla chips into the styrofoam box and then walked over like he knew what he was doing. I guess I look like a black bean sort of person so he took out a scoop and held it off to the side and smiled. I nodded and we became symbiotic. Without another word for a second or two, he assembled my Aussie nachos with cheese and, as he held the steak out, I motioned for a combo plate to include pork. We both knew the queso sauce was going to be on the side. I furled my brow so he knew not to put on salsa and he knew the scoop of guacamole was going off to the corner when I winced but when he paused over the jalapenos, I knew I was in trouble. I don't know if a volume of peppers is an actual scale but one of them went onto my nachos...HOT!

I still wasn't happy about the whole stale rice thing but I had to weigh the odds and, given that I've eaten here a gazillion times, it comes to reason that one burrito had to turn out bad. Glad it was my wife's---joke.

As I was paying out, I noticed a new little electronic item on the counter that wanted my phone number so it could send me texts. My 12-year-old hasn't taught me how to text yet, so I put in her number. After she visits nine more times, she gets a free burrito. Yea!

Moe's still gets a three and a half star, just for skyscraper guy and his Jedi sense of humor. Later -- Roy

1 Star--Wouldn't go back on a bet

2 Star--Would have to go back, but only on a bet

3 Star--If I was in the neighborhood and hungry

4 Star--Would go out of my way even if I wasn't hungry

5 Star--Would make reservations and wait in a line