Student Services Fall Short Part I

Student Services Fall Short-Part I

     After doing some research, this writer has come to the conclusion that student services in most schools in the United States are still falling far short of the protection needed to prevent or reduce bullying. That includes my home state of Florida.

     How many deaths does it take to convince school boards and administrators that the current method of just including statements like “will not tolerate” and “must report”, accomplishes very little. When will they get the concept that making an abuser or target develop plans, keep a log of abuse, meet with psychologists, counselors and social workers won’t stop bullying. While they are all good intermediate steps, they cannot supply the immediate response needed, nor teach a child the difference between bullying and assertive independence. It cannot teach the difference between being an innocent bystander, nor the danger of being disenfranchised as an innocent bystander, which can deprive the individual of privilege, immunity, the legal right to protection, and freedom in the pursuit of happiness.

     I will admit that most schools understand and include bullying descriptors that are appropriate to the subject. They know what it looks like, feels like, sounds like. They are either reluctant or just don’t know what to do about it, other than employ the short term fix of ignoring or punishing.  Change can be difficult, and many are reluctant to admit that they are not in total control of their schools. At times, ego and fear translate into obstruction for change for adults as well as students.

     Few have clear protocols for both the target and aggressor. Protocols range from next to nothing to complex or complex with no follow through. Most are still struggling to find a way to address the problem realizing that ‘something’ must be done. Many are still stuck on traditional approaches to correction of exacerbated behavior, by punitive action for the bully, and rare, early (as in kindergarten), educational remediation on a consistent scale for either bully or target. Furthermore, most are still trying to control the problem rather than teaching the child how to recognize the core cause in their own behavior, the effect of their behavior on themselves and others, and how to revise the negative behavior and adjust their reaction.

     Pasco County, Florida and most others, suggests that teachers 1) stop the behavior 2) debrief the rules 3) conference with the student 4) initiate a counselor referral and/or 5) initiate administrative referral. It does not include procedure for the most important remediation….ongoing education to teach all students, kindergarten to high school, appropriate and safe social and personal skills. This would go a long way in the prevention or reduction of in- school aggression. They fail to show students what assertive response looks like, feels like and sounds like on an ongoing basis. No follow through. No continuity.

     Bullying, and all forms of abuse, can be curtailed, but cannot be stopped. It calls for dedication and a whole school approach including students and their families. It calls for a reversal of faulty thinking at all levels. It would mean taking a step back in time, an impossible task. But there is nothing to stop us from starting here and now, on the bottom rung, to reintroduce common sense, morals, compassion, empathy and respect.

     We have to teach appropriate response to aggressive or dangerous situations. We need to teach what that looks like. We need to teach that it’s ok to be angry, but that it’s what you do with the anger that counts. This should be done more than once a year and be grade level specific.

     It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to be afraid. Fear is a healthy response to dangerous situations, but fear or anger that is constant and debilitating is not. It puts you in a paper bag, so to speak. We should teach all children that no one, NO ONE, has the right to hurt us or make our lives seem impossible to live.

     We most definitely need to do more than just use the words that people want to hear. We must accept the responsibility that goes with those words. While once a year training for teachers and administration may be sufficient, it is not so for students.  

     Those principals that feel that all they have to do is address the problem and consequences of aggressive behavior once a year at the beginning of the school season, are sadly mistaken, once a year is not “enough”. Daily headlines can tell you that. MTV and movies expose them to negative behavior more often than we do to positive behavior. Do the math. Once a year for 12 years is 12 times, not the 17 times suggested by the scientific community. How much sooner would a child learn appropriate behavior if exposed no less than 9 times a year by each teacher at each grade level? Think about it. See Student “Services Fall Short-Part II for proof.”