A Real Fixer-upper!

It's always been somewhat of a dream of mine to buy a quaint little house for a throw away price, spend some time making it spandy clean and just maybe changing a few little things inside, and to sell it for a profit.   Well, let me tell you that I should have just taken a couple of aspirin, and forgotten about the whole idea by the next morning.

The first clue to the fact that all is not well in the state of Denmark (Shakespeare again) is the wild life.  Not just outside, but inside, too.  I do believe that termites should be Florida's national wild life symbol because they are everywhere.  If the property is just a bit on the mature side, it's bound to have had these special guests staying there at some time. I am learning to look for the telltale signs on the outside in the shape of small piles of termite dust.  A piece of supposedly structural wood that closely resembles a piece of chewed meat is a guarantee that this house was on the 5 star termite restaurant list, and for all you know, it still is.  I know that there is this treatment that involves 'tenting', fascinating to observe, and scary to even think about.  The house resembles a huge wrapped present, and I have the urge to put a large bow on the roof, but then I think of what's going on underneath and the moment passes.  So now the huge profit is receding, and I haven't even started inside.   Bathrooms are really quite simple, but they can be so deceiving.  I recommend wearing a pair of high heels and walking over any tiled flooring.  You should hear a consistent 'clip, clip' as you trot from tile to tile, but if that turns into 'clip clip, thud'  you may be looking at your own personal interior financial sinkhole, as the tiles are probably loose at best, and at worst, the under flooring is damp and rotting.  Tiled walls that move when you do is yet another invitation to dance around with the bank, and we haven't even set foot in the kitchen.    Between the far from ideal Feng Shui placement of the stove/sink/refrigerator, apparently a major factor in kitchen design, (I obviously am one of the heathens that never knew this )and the cabinets that list to one side, you have now joined the ranks of the 'gotcha' group.  Did I mention windows?  No?  What was I thinking?  Start running, and never ever come back.  If you have a spare dollar to invest for your retirement, buy a lottery ticket.    On the good side, there is a sense of 'saving a piece of the world' when you embark on any house renovation.  It's a bit like surgery.  Cut out the bad bits, and help the good bits to stay around longer.  If only the band aids weren't so expensive!