'Tis the Season....

They're everywhere!  Signs, posters, billboards, from flashing electronic boards down to hastily scribbled pieces of poster board.  What are they all touting?  'Yard Sale', 'Garage Sale' or for the larger and more grandiose, 'Estate Sale'.  I am in my very own piece of heaven.  You have to understand, that this type of event is not very common in Jolly Old, from whence I hail, other than the smaller 'Car Boot' variety. (Remember, a car boot is just our  name for a car trunk.)   It does not take much of a stretch of the imagination to realise that there is only so much stuff that can be loaded into your car trunk, but exponentially, almost your whole house contents could be up for grabs in a yard sale. 

To make these sales stand out from the more mundane, you will notice that they often have catchy names.  'Junk from the Trunk', ' Whale of a Sale', 'My Trash, Your Treasure', and for ex pats there is always the 'Loot from the Boot'. I personally think that 'A Taste of Money' is just a little crude, whereas 'Finders Keepers' seems to hint at buried treasure.  'Yard Sale' doesn't have that 'je ne sais pas' ring about it, but it still brings in the bargain hunters galore.

Now there are unwritten rules that have to be obeyed - I have learned from bitter experience that if the sale has been advertised to start at 8am, you had better be up and fighting fit at 0 dark hundred, because the more experienced sale goer will be beating on your door while you are still in your jammies.  Most of these buyers will have covered the local sales before you have even said 'Good morning', and if you want to sell your wares, you have to be more than just 'on the ball'.

Another thing to remember,  if  buyers don't see a specific item for which they have been combing the local sales, they will ask...'Do you have a ....etc?  It is very uncool to ask them to hold on, while you rush inside, prise said object out of the clutching hands of an unwary teenager/spouse/and yes, I'm ashamed to say even a toddler, and offer it for a dollar even though said object was almost brand new, and fresh from the store where you had spent a week's pay in obtaining it. Your family will not thank you for this, in fact, they may well be a trifle miffed.

Then there are the dealers!   You have to play the game, or it's no fun.  Many a lively riposte can be heard as they offer to 'take all this off your hands' to save you the trouble of sitting in your yard/garage/car all day.  That's too easy!  The cut and thrust of marketing strategy will bring a sparkle to your eyes and put a spring in your step.  Just think!  You may have out manoeuvred a dealer who has just offered a quarter for a perfectly good set of lawn chairs, but hard nosed sales person that you are, you managed to get 45 cents.    The trick is to only put out for sale things that you really do NOT want any more.   A dead killer is for you to price something at 3/4 of the original cost.   That's no fun.  Anyone with a little time and a computer can buy that object brand new on sale somewhere.  So, learn to play the game.

Now if you are a buyer, there are rules for you too.  Do NOT buy stuff that you do not want or need.  I can hear it now..."this would be so cute on my bedside cabinet/side table/front porch' and they only want $1.50....that is such a bargain".  Paying by check or credit card is a bit of a no no too!   However, experience is the best teacher.   I have come home staggering under the weight of my yard sale purchases, very pleased with myself, only to find that I neither had the room or the inclination to house these objects after all.  But what the heck...I only spent $4.50. 

The weekend is almost upon us.  Yard sale boards are blooming in the early morning mist, so get yourself fighting fit and sally forth to do battle.  Not a good idea to go to these sales in your designer outfit or the new Mercedes, either.  (Assuming you are one of the very few people in the USA who can afford not only to own said car but also to run it).  Nothing puts prices up like a gleaming mode of expensive transportation.  Best thing is to borrow the beaten up  truck from an impoverished member of the family - so that any extra kicks, scratches or dents will go unnoticed.  Should you be successful in obtaining what is (to you)obviously a valuable antique hat stand, or a Chippendale chair, for just a few pennies, this transaction will be more likely to go unnoticed if you heave your acquisitions into the bed of  said dilapidated truck.  In that case, you are obviously a discerning buyer so would you please take this as a personal invitation to attend any or all such sales that I will host in the future?  I am sure that I have some very valuable pieces of whatever you are looking for - if the legs don't fall off first.

'Tis the season, and I am in Yard Sale heaven once again.