Dress code for Florida

I have been living in Florida for a couple of years now, so I have run the gauntlet of most social occasions, and I am amazed at what constitutes a dress code.  Or what constitutes a 'lack' of dress code.

Scenario 1.  Going for an interview:  Pull out the stops people. You are trying to 'dress to impress here.  For women, my basic rule is keep necklines high - and hemlines low.  No cleavage - and mini skirts that resemble a belt.  (I've seen them, and it was not a pretty sight.)  For men, PLEASE wear pants that do not have a waistline lower than your underwear.  Apart from the weird shuffling gait that is essential if said pants are not to end up round your socks, it must break your concentration, surely. (Thought:  darn it, I have an uneasy feeling in the lower hip area.  Now what was the interviewer saying about minimum wage?)

Scenario 2.  Meeting the family.  Pretty much same criteria. This does not mean that one should wear Sunday school 'butter wouldn't melt in one's mouth' clothes either.  No self respecting parent is going to go for that ruse.

Scenario 3.  Weddings.  If you are not actually in the wedding party - don't treat this as a rave up at Mickey D's. I like the approach, no shirt, no shoes, no service.  As an honored guest, wear appropriate clothes.  This is a festive occasion.  Word of warning!  Do NOT go all out to look better then the bride or groom, and especially not the respective mothers.  That will get you crossed off their Christmas list in a hurry.

Scenario 4.  Funerals.  Unless there have been prior instructions from the family of the deceased to wear something specific, if you turn up wearing beach shorts, a halter top and a lei, you are probably not going to get  mentioned in the will and the family are likely to 'unfriend you'.  Collared shirts gentlemen, preferably a tie, and double preferably, a suit and tie. Lose the jeans.  I realize that down here in Florida the word 'tie' is frowned upon, but a little respect won't go amiss.  Especially if there is a church service to attend.

Scenario 5.  Going to Church.  Other than weddings and funerals, where people get an attack of the crazies when looking in their closets, most people seem to wear reasonable clothing to church.?  In fact, most people look upon church as a time to dig out their nicest clothing,  What is it about a special occasion that seems to turn their brain cells into mush?

Scenario 6.  Going to the theater.  Here my advice fails me.  It seems that if the concert/ballet/opera is giving a matinee performance, one has carte blanche to wear whatever one wants, and they do.  I shudder to think of the number of pairs of casual shorts I have sat next to during a Florida Orchestra performance - but each to his/her own.  Guess things are a bit more laid back in the sunshine state. 

Scenario 7.  Going to the doctor's office.  Now this is weird.  Best clothes are pulled out, because we may feel like the cat's hair ball, but by gosh we're going to dress well.  I am totally perplexed by this attitude, but maybe, I'll learn how things are done down here.  As they say, when you stop learning, you stop living.  Memo:  State dress code for personal funeral arrangements. Peacock blue comes to mind.