Why is it that when faced with a normal day to day situation, I have an impish urge to do the exact opposite of what is expected. Why else would I want to go up a down escalator, or what is worse, secretly hit the stop button for an escalator full of people, and see how long it takes for anyone to notice it's no longer moving. What is wrong with me? How many times have I deliberately stepped on a lawn that displays 'Keep off the grass' signs? Too often. After a tedious hunt for my car in a huge car park one day, I drove out past the parking attendant who in a friendly manner remarked, "Did you find your car then?" What imp on my shoulder made me reply 'No, but this one is a much nicer color!" I am just asking for the label 'Smart Alec' to be stuck to the back of my shirt some day! I'm sure that everyone must have this urge to some extent - surely it can't just be me. After all, a sedate Brit of mature age, is supposed to be in full control of herself. (I am ignoring the sniggers from family members) I am actually convinced that this is a national trait. The urge to see the ridiculous side to a lot of the pompous statements that are often printed out on public notices brings out the wicked side of many Brits. How does one not laugh at the sign on an emergency exit that states 'This door is alarmed!' Poor thing...who frightened it? Do the powers that be even read these signs? I am not even going to mention the effect that revolving doors have upon me. Why would I have the urge to go round a few times before emerging? Then there are long, shiny, wooden curved stair bannisters. Who, gentle readers, has not longed to slide down a highly polished bannister to gracefully alight at the bottom unruffled. At least, that can only be accomplished if there are no protrusions and curved figurines to impede ones descent. Best to do a complete recce beforehand. Trust me on this one! Nothing worse than embarking on the slide of ones life, only to find out too late that the curved railing has been embellished with a very painful array of ornate knobs that only become visible as the rail makes a 90 degree turn half way down. So, do your homework. Run up and down a few times beforehand to check for splinter possibilities and other potential hazards.
I am trying to curb this side of my personality, really I am. But then, life is so serious, we just have to lighten up a little. There are enough things to worry us during our short stay on this earth, so enjoy it. If you want to run down an up escalator and you are nimble enough - go for it! Make sure you are quite fit before you try it the other way round though, else you may need a spare lung when you make it to the top.
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The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?