I did it - after a long overdue scrutiny at my image (fully clothed, I might add), I decided that my muffin top had to go. I am way too short to tolerate what should be bakery items, as a belt. I girded my loins, and my muffin top, and signed on at a local gym as well as sessions with a personal trainer.
I must have had a rush of blood to the head, or all my oxygen was feeding my very own muffin, as I rashly promised a before and after photograph to document my progress. That was my first mistake. The second was to rashly document measurements that I would rather not publish. I mean really, who is interested in my thigh circumference. Apparently I should have been, interested, that is, for a long time. Then just maybe that figure wouldn't have been quite so large. However, I digress.
My trainer is obviously on leave from some Boot camp, as I have stretched, lifted, pulled, raised and almost dropped more pieces of equipment in the last month than I thought was possible. One does feel a sense of satisfaction at the end of a session when there are aches attached to parts of one's body that are completely alien to exercise. This rapidly moves to the next level about 24 hours later. I had the delightful experience of waking up and getting out of bed - well, part of me did, the rest refused to move. I spent time later that day standing through an entire meeting, because it was just too hard to sit down and then have to get up again. On the bright side, my muffin top is toned. Yes I still have it, but it is no longer wobbly, it is now a firm structure. Now I have to get it to move to someone else's waist. As my trainer said, it took years for me to acquire it, so don't think it will disappear overnight. Fair enough, now if I can just keep my fat fingers from picking up all the delectable food that's around, and putting said food into my mouth, I'll be on a winner. If you want to scare yourself - try doing a calorie count for a couple of days. (Note: A plate of freshly baked chips, and an exquisite creamy cheese dipping sauce will have enough calories for a 5'2" Brit for a whole day - and some.) Quite eye opening. Did you know that those delicious tiny herb/garlic crackers are not too bad -IF you can stop at eating one serving. I think that's 5 crackers. I waste more than that in crumbs. My new rule is 'sampling'. My muffin top cries out for more, but I'm made of sterner stuff, let me tell you. We Brits don't only have a stiff upper lip, we have steely reserve too. Wait....is that a fudge do'nut? Newly baked? Get thee behind me Satan.....and you too O do'nut baker. Anyone want a muffin?