St. Pete Death Cafe To Tackle Difficult Topics Of Death And Dying

ST. PETERSBURG, FL — Unlike many Americans, Paula Adams grew up comfortably talking about death. Now, decades later, the death doula aims to make the taboo subject a little more accessible through Death Cafes.

The cafes are an international concept and she plans to host the first one in the St. Petersburg area May 16, 4 to 5:30 p.m., at The Harmony House, 4746 22nd Ave. S.

Following in the footsteps of her grandmother and mother, “I’ve been a death walker all my life,” the Gulfport resident told Patch. “I could feel things, see things, that kind of deal.”

Raised on a ranch in El Paso, Texas, she always had a sense of when animals were dying.

“I was always drawn to death,” Adams said. “If puppies were born, I instinctively knew which puppies weren’t going to make it. The same with horses and cows and other animals.”

And she recalls her family gathering when she was as young as 4 years old to nonchalantly talk about death — frequently related to the farm's animals, but often to discuss how they thought or hoped they might die.

“I remember being a kid and coming up with ways to die, and kids come up with some crazy ways to die, because they’re imaginative,” she said. “But I also remember my dad saying, ‘I’m not going to any hospital when the time comes. There’s ketamine in the horse’s stall and I know how to use a shot.’”

As an adult, Adams traveled the world — Estonia, Switzerland, Mexico — and she realized that death was more openly discussed in other countries and cultures.

“We are so far behind in this country when it comes to talking about death,” she said. “We have a very profound celebration for life here, which is magnificent, but when it comes to death, it’s very taboo here.”

It was during the COVID-19 pandemic that she leaned into her calling as a death doula, spending time with those at area nursing homes as they passed.

“There are several people I got to be with when they died,” Adams said. “I was very fortunate.”

This was when she realized more needed to be done when it came to conversations around death in the United States. Now, she regularly hosts Death Talks at the Gulfport Senior Center, often to standing room-only crowds. Her next Death Talk takes place May 21, 3 to 4 p.m. at Sacred Lands in St. Petersburg.

While she takes on individual clients, she’s passionate about educating the community about death and inspiring conversations on the topic.

Adams attended her first Death Cafe while visiting Ireland and decided to bring the concept to Florida.

The upcoming Death Cafe will be much more intimate than her Death Talks. The Death Cafe will be limited to about 25 people.

“It’s a really good way to have people sit in a place that feels safe and comforting and have great information shared at these community get togethers,” she said.

She’s invited other death doulas in the area to the event and hopes that others will be inspired to host their own Death Cafe events.

“I am just so thrilled and excited just to see how the conversation starts — though, I’m pretty sure I’ll start it,” Adams said. “But I’m excited to no end and curious to see where the conversation goes.”

Those interested in attending the Death Cafe should email adams.paula90@gmail.com.