If I Were President

 
The Following is a speech given today by Count President Raoul from the White House:

Ladies and gentlemen, I am standing before you in the Rose Garden at the White House to announce a dramatic new initiative designed to save hundreds, maybe thousands of American lives annually. 

Effective this morning, I have asked the Attorney General, the Director of the FBI and the Director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms to present to me in six months time a plan to remove within five years, all handguns and high volume rifles from the non-law enforcement citizens of America.  This plan, to be called the Protecting Innocent American’s Act (PIAA) will not be a rebuke of the 2^nd Amendment to the US Constitution, but will instead encourage the recreational and protective use of most rifles and shotguns while making it illegal for most Americans to own a handgun or unnecessarily lethal long gun.

Handguns, both concealed and exposed are the number one tool for violent crime resulting in death in America. Recent statistics show that assaults with handguns is not only the leading cause of murder in this country, but roughly the equivalent of all other weapons, including other guns, knives and blunt instruments combined. 

During 2010 in the previous president home state of Illinois, of 364 murders by firearm, 355 or 98% were committed with a handgun. In fact, 78% of all murders in the state were the result of handguns. What would the statistics be if those guns did not exist?

Taking these handguns away from law-abiding citizens and criminals alike will be difficult and expensive for obvious reasons. The Cabinet-level decisions to carry out my order are likely to include the purchase at fair market value of existing handguns, the purchase and retooling of all domestic handgun manufacturers and the significant raising of penalties for handgun possession after the designated ‘no handgun’ date. 

My goal under PIAA is not to lose a single job in the domestic handgun manufacture industry. All import licenses for handguns will be suspended over PIAA. As Isaiah said in The Bible, we shall beat our swords into plowshares.  Handguns have served their purpose in America. Tools originally designed for protection are now being used for murder. The time for them to be eliminated is now.   

Similarly, the use of rifles with more than protection level magazines will be outlawed. No more ammunition clips holding more than designated maximum rounds will be sold or possessed in America. In hunting and protection, rifles are valuable tools. Providing them with the firepower and volume to create mass murder is wrong and the PIAA will stop it.

The Second Amendment of the United States Constitution is rather short. It includes the words: “the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” I, like all Presidents before me, have sworn to uphold and defend these words. But just as surely as these words are sacrosanct, I believe they allow the limiting of the type of arms allowed. 

Citizens are not allowed to own and discharge howitzers, bazookas or certain types of high powered ammunition. We have accepted these restrictions because Americans know they are unsafe and unnecessary for personal protection and sport. Before I was President, I protected my home as the Constitution allowed by storing a locked shotgun in my closet. During the time of our Constitution's writing, single-shot flintlock pistols were as small and easily hidden as a firearm could be. Today, the obvious variety of small and lethal handguns has resulted in murder and injury rather than protection.

Many will disagree with me. Most of the disagreements are likely to come from good Americans who just don’t want to be told what to do. And the argument that most gun owners of any type are law-abiding citizens is not part of the debate.  But most auto drivers are safe and sane also. Yet the objections to seat belt laws and speed limits have waned as lives were saved.  I expect a similar long-term result of this new law.

I know that the road to this eventual lawmaking will be long and challenged at every turn. Americans have grown accustomed to being armed and many are suspicious of the federal government enforcing new rules regarding what they consider personal liberty. That’s OK. I think we have the will of the people on our side.

And as we argue, negotiate and compromise on PIAA, let’s think of the prospects of a high volume rifle and handgun free future when we read stories in the newspapers or hear them on the radio and TV.  The stories about innocent people being killed in fits of rage by friends, family or strangers that chose to use a handgun or high volume rifle to make their case. What would the result have been if these weapons were not in existence?

Thank you and God Bless America.