Fit to Be Tied!

It’s just natural for every father to have times when he’s fit to be tied. But this year on Father’s Day, forget the necktie and think about a different gift. Stores all over Athens are touting massive sales on items “perfect for honoring DAD.”

A quick trip to my personal favorite retailer, , yielded a bonanza of clever suggestions for the Father with the Mostest. In fact, they have clustered these dandy items right at the entrance. And yes, there are plenty of the usual suspects – ties, sport shirts and electronic do-dads for Dads who do love that kind of thing. But I was also intrigued by the plethora of weirdo things manufactured for sale. And yes, every item on every shelf is labeled Made in China.

The ever-popular electronic coin counting money jar has been around for years. In fact, I actually gave these as gifts one year at Christmas to all the men on my list. As Dad drops the loose change from his pockets into the jar each evening, well, it just totals it up and displays it right there on the top. No need to count one's coins anymore. But the thing about this new version is it’s proud claim “works with the new U.S. Presidential $1 coin!" Gotta get one of these, y’all.

If that doesn’t float your boat, well maybe the Aviva Fishing Buddy will. It’s a remote controlled boat “that really catches fish." Let’s hope that boat’s boast is for real. Now I ask you, who in the world thought up this gadget? Probably some Chinese person who believes every fish story he’s ever heard about the American consumer.

By far, one of the more expensive gifts (and all are under $20) was the Stress Buster, a desktop  punching ball. This little novelty from Tech Tools even comes with its own pump. While it doesn’t say so in the box, it's ideal for the Dad who obviously has anger management issues. And you can give it in hopes that he takes his anger out on the punching ball instead of Mom or another family member.

Tools are always a hit with the Father figures. A new hammer would be nice, with a cute card saying, “You nailed it Daddy-O!” Hopefully, it wasn’t his thumb he nailed. Anyway, there is an assortment of multi-tasking tools specially gift boxed for any Handy Dandy Pop. 

My favorite being Totes 9-in-1 Tool with Light. It’s actually just a screwdriver with nine different changeable inserts. But its drawing card is the LIGHT! This is a must-have for every home. Pair this with the Multi-Functional Laser Level from Park Avenue (not the one in New York City, the one in Beijing) and you’ve got a real winner.

There were all sorts of wonderful gizmos for the Papa who loves golf. A ball cleaner. Special glasses that help spot one's golf ball. But by far the most original is the Talking Pop-Up (get it?) Putting Cup. Its claim to fame is it helps make putting practice fun with the golf gopher. Yes, I said gopher. Seems the said gopher pops up with one of six clever one-liners every time you sink a putt. It even has an automatic ball return. Wow! How can one live without this?

And since men seem to really LOVE throw pillows, you can get one that’s made especially for his recliner. It’s embroidered with “Unhand the Remote” in bold letters and has little pockets on the back for all of those remotes. It holds three remotes and has a 100 percent cotton twill cover to boot! A keeper for sure.

Still not satisfied? Well, try the Cup Holder Power Port for Dad’s car. This little device fits right in the cup holder – talk about a niche business. And it simultaneously recharges up to four mobile devices. And those would be? Hope the car battery is one of them.

Two items which I think are actually useful: the personal 9-can cooler from Igloo and a six-pack of flat Bungee cords that are guaranteed to be 4 times stronger than any others. The cooler even has a comfort grip rubberized handle and cell phone and MP3 pockets. My question is what does Dad do with the remaining three beers that come in a 12-pack? Guzzle them, I guess. And I actually purchased the bungee cords. For myself no less. Hoping they will solve the problem of keeping my trashcans safe from raccoons.

So there you have it …just a sampling of what’s waiting for you to get your Father. And I haven’t even touched on the vast array of grilling accessories, barware, belts, wallets… Since I don’t have a Father to fete (mine has been in heaven for years), I’m honoring my husband with a case of birdseed and some binoculars to enhance his passion for bird watching.

Happy Father’s Day, all. And happy shopping.