GRIEF-Discovering the Truth

     Serendipity House has published a very good pamphlet/study on Grief and I have used a part of this study below to help those who are grieving.  This is part I.  In part II, ASAPH's Approach to Grief and in Part III I will share my own testimony involving grief and how I dealt with it.

PART I.

     Life is about living with passion and purpose, but when that living is disrupted by the loss of someone or something important, we are bound to feel an emotional letdown and some degree of distress.  Today we call this emotional letdown "grief."  We have all experienced losses in our lives, and most of us have experienced a significant loss at one time.  The intensity and length of the grief will vary from person to person, but the feeling of loss is still valid.  Grieving is a process because there is a specific event that is at the beginning of our grief, and the feelings last  well past the event.  You may very well be in the midst of grieving over a loss or know someone who is. 

      Just as each person's grief is unique, the way each handles that grief will vary as well.  They are:

1)  Bury myself in frantic activity (Doer)

2) Talk with the people around (Feelers)

3) Take time to be alone and reflect (Thinkers)

     Doers tend to find relief and comfort in activity.  They release emotions by becoming involved in solving problems or fixing situations.  For the doer, change may be accepted as a challenge.  Yet when things, such as people's emotions, are uncontrollable, they may be very uncomfortable.  Their emotions feel resolved in activity, movement, and busyness.

     Feelers seek out the closeness and warmth of other people.  They draw strength from feeling that they are not alone.  They may want to talk their feelings out.  More emotional people may get the hurt out by explosions and outbursts.  This often makes them well-balanced because they do not hold the pain in.  Yet, they may never seem to get to closure because their emotions can easily take over.

     Thinkers usually want to take their time and process feelings.  They may need to be alone.  This can become very uncomfortable for the people around them who believe they need to be doing or talking.  It may be especially hard for a thinker to open up and talk about their feelings.  Sometimes thinkers best express their grief in art, poetry, or journaling.

     Grief is a very stressful time in our lives.  Mentioned above are 3 common ways to handle the stress related to grief.  God has designed us with each of these tendencies, but one will rise to the top under stressful situations like grief.  Regardless which of these tendencies describe you, it is important to accept that there is no one best way to deal with your grief.

Tomorrow, ASAPH's approach to grief.