Being Single "Finding Forever"

By: Kenneth Stepp 

What a journey this is. Finding forever. Two words I have come to get comfortable talking about. I already love her. I know a lot about her. I just don’t have a name or a date. I take so much flack when I talk about her. But, I know so much about her already. She is smart, strong, independent, open minded, non judgmental, and is nuts about me. Other than that. She’s a mystery. I know what it’s like to find her because I did once. It just didn’t work out. So. Why am I not with her? Because I know what it’s like to find her and it didn’t work out. Redundancy in motion. I still have feelings and am trying to move on. It cannot be done overnight. It is unfair to another until I get past this. So, I wait, think, study, and write. 

Moments to remember. We’ve all have them. Unfortunately, some are burned too deep to forget. Do I want to forget? If something was amazing would you? I love great memories. Why get rid of them? I doubt I could if I wanted to. There are feelings and people wedged inside us that are meant to stay. She is there. If you love them. You will always love them. If you always love them. You want them in your life. I’ve done it before successfully. I believe I can again. It’s the goal anyway. Collecting memories and great people in my life are important to me. For that reason. I am steadfast in my quest to not lose any. 

Do you know anything about your forever? Having met mine. I am privileged to know much more than most. There has to be more than one for us. At least. That’s my hope. I believe it to be true. When it happens. You will be the 3rd to know. I live my life as if it will. Situational hope. I love that term. Most won’t have a clue what it means. I kind of like that. 

We all have a list of traits our forever possesses. I have spoken with so many about this list. Some deny they have a list. Then rattle off several things that their forever must have in their personality. The list exists for all of us. For me. I mentioned it above. There are other things that matter. But I can adjust myself around anyone that fits those. I’m not perfect. I can alter a few things about myself for the greater good. For my forever love. She is more valuable than gold or silver. Better than a Barbie, and more wanted than any “thing” made by man. 

This writing is more personal than others I have written. It is about me. Just me. My desires, goals, and what will be at the end of my rainbow. Many won’t understand. Most won’t care. I am asked all the time. “Kenneth, What do you want?” Forever…. Nothing less. I think I am ready. Then I’m not. It is an interesting journey. I have met some amazing people along the way. Some, I believe are mountaintop people. Meaning, they are head and shoulders above most humans. I am awed in their presence. Just knowing them makes me want to be a better man. 

“My future's about trying to be a better man” - Terrence Howard 

If a girl told me I made them want to be a better woman. I would be flattered. It is the greatest compliment ever. 

Do you think you have met your Forever? Are they swimming in this singles swamp somewhere? I wonder if I have too. The mind plays with us so much. Mental magic. I was asked by someone dear to me today. “What happens when you find her? Will you still write?” Writing is my therapy. The fact that I have readers surprises me more than anyone. Will I need to write again? No, I will be complete. I can’t think of a reason to write after that. I can only say, I have no idea. 

www.stepplife.com 
Founder, American Angel Works