Can I Trust You?

By: Kenneth Stepp

Like all small words with big meaning, trust stands as tall as any of them. Without trust, a real relationship cannot exist. This is from romance to business. Everything with relational connections, rests on trust. In talks about sexuality, I have always maintained that great sex can only exist where there is great trust. And great trust can only exist within the boundaries of a relationship. So on every level. Trust is key.

“Someone who thinks the world is always cheating him is right. He is missing that wonderful feeling of trust in someone or something” – Eric Hoffer

By not allowing trust into our lives, we shortchange happiness we could have enjoyed. Yes, we become vulnerable. Yes, we expose something valuable, tangible, or emotional. No risk, no reward. Are you open to trust? Without trusting beyond us, you will only have a half full life. I have always over trusted. It has cost me a lot more than it would cost most, because I have had more and lost it than most. But, I know the value of trusting beyond myself. I know what it brings. The good, far outweighs the bad.

“Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish” – Barbara Smith

I believe Barbara makes a valid point about trust inside a love relationship. Perhaps going into it backwards. Love can flourish, unless trust is lost. Once lost. I have never seen it recovered. If someone has a story of trust reignited. I would love to hear it.

In life I have learned more than a few lessons the hard way. Through pain and loss. On trusting others, if they can’t trust, then most likely, I shouldn’t trust them. I have been body slammed more than once on this one. If someone is paranoid about someone getting to something of theirs, then danger exists. If I open up and they do not. I will likely pay a price for that attempt.

“A man who trusts nobody is apt to be the kind of man nobody trusts” – Harold MacMillan

For myself. I live an interesting life. One that if looked at on the surface seems extremely open. My close friends know better. I am guarded. I have always had to be. For years I wrote in pen names. For years, no one knew my name. Behind the scenes. Like the great Wizard of Oz, I wanted my curtain. I still use one for various parts of my inner most being. Years of manipulating reality and making others believe things that did not exist, wore at me. It becomes who you are. Let me give just a small example.

I was investigating a guy that was buying flood damaged cars after hurricane Katrina. He had damaged a friend of mine by selling her an almost new Mustang convertible. She was devastated. No money left, in debt, and owed a fortune on her new car. I went to see him. He sold the car as is. Blah blah blah. I let him know what he actually did was a federal crime by washing the title in another state. Then told him I was going to the FBI. I insisted he take my business card, even though he felt he held all the cards. The two elements of this sting were. Telling him I would be talking to the FBI, and him having my card handy. We used beepers back in those days. Another part of the sting. I called the Atlanta Field Office for the FBI. I told them this is agent Spivey. There would be a man, (his name here) calling. Tell him I will return his call later today. I made sure they wrote the message down and set it next to the phone. Then, I paged him with the FBI’s number. I had a check in under three hours. Outcome matters.

The ability to think that way is a blessing and a curse. I only use it for good. But, I do use it. If not, some wrongs never get righted. i get judged for this type of stuff now and then. This is one reason that my public life is always missing a page. If he lies that well, he must do it a lot. They don’t understand what I do at all.

Can you trust? Should you? I say yes you should. You have to decide you ca, The other half of your life, yes, the best half is waiting on the other side of trust. That moment your walls drop and you are relaxed in their arms is intoxicating. Lower your guard and go……

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works