Dating After Divorce "Changing Me"

By: Kenneth Stepp

To change oneself is always painful. It always costs something. It usually follows great loss. This is the hard and fast truth of change. Without loss. There would be no need for change. Especially loss that hits the heart.

When I first jumped into the deep end of the dating cesspool. I had habits that for me seemed natural. Being in the investigative and federal government contractor community for years forged some ideas and ways of doing life in me, that most people just don’t have. I’m honest in my personal life. But back then, nothing about my public life was real. I called them “head fakes”. Making people see one thing, while doing or being another. This was natural. People thought I was one place and I was somewhere else. Facebook is a great help. 67 different email addresses, 7 Facebook persona’s, and much more. And to me, it seemed normal. After losing more than I ever thought possible. I stopped all of it. Repented, so to speak. It was easier than I thought.

How much loss will you suffer before you see why? And after you see why you had this loss,what will you do about it? It’s important to know both of the answers. Because it will happen. It’s part of life. Or at least part of finding your partner. I can now be as open as anyone. It was tough. But it freed me from some chains that had me. Change isn’t always good. But mostly change is part of becoming a better you.

“A person will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change” - unknown

I read that in a book in 2006. It is still one of my favorite quotes. It explains so much. Like a suicide victim. The pain gets so intense. They can only see one way to stop it. Sadly, we lose so much before reaching the point of change. Some, lose their very lives because they see no options. I think in pictures. To me, change is like sandpaper, sanding a rough spot smooth. Whatever works for you, right? Bottom line. Change is necessary to become something better.

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of” - Jim Rohn

Mr Rohn was probably a great guy to have as a friend. Going into great detail with the limited space I have here is impossible. I can only point to something in my own life as an example of both loss and change. I hope you learn from my mistakes. I make so many of them. Some cost me very little, an unfriend on Facebook, or a great parking space. Some, cost more than we can afford to lose.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress” - Frederick Douglass

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works