Dating After Divorce "When Depression Comes"

By: Kenneth Stepp

Attention! My fellow super humans. People that know depressed subhumans. Turn your back on these inferiors and run….. That’s how we feel others see us when we are depressed. “Oh, you again”. The truth is. We all deal with depression. Anxiety too. Some more than others. Most of us have a pattern we live out when it hits. Me. I first go into what I call, hermit mode. I retreat to my room, and stay there until I can move on to stage two. It’s the last stage. Most have more than two. I make myself go exploring places, meet people, and learn new things. It works pretty well too. How about you? How do you deal with depression?

We have all met them. Smiling, outgoing, always happy. To be honest. People that see me out, sees that guy. Mr Always on Top. We only have the appearance of having it all together. Those who know me on a deeper level, know a man with demons. I haven’t had a day void of pain in nearly a year. I still have fun, go out, do my exploring thing, and engage in great conversations with complete strangers. Underneath, I could topple at any moment. I have a CD in my car. If I hear the right song at the wrong moment. I’m looking for a tissue. We all experience this. Even otherwise happy people. And, you don’t have to be single to have it either. It comes with having a pulse and being human. Many see no end in sight. These are sad. And, I’ve been there.

“That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key” - Elizabeth Wurtzel

Elizabeth has been there too. If we are single after being married. Then we have faced serious life changes. And life changes, change us. Many times permanently. For that reason. We want to we want those changes to be positive ones. To allow bitterness, paranoia, and guilt to take root, is no different than poisoning the root on a tree. For a while it remains pretty, and offers shade to those around. But, soon it will be a reminder of something wonderful. In memory only. It’s subtle. Yet will define someone if left unchecked. Hope seems so distant.

“Here is the tragedy: when you are the victim of depression, not only do you feel utterly helpless and abandoned by the world, you also know that very few people can understand, or even begin to believe, that life can be this painful” - Giles Andreae

To be honest. There are no quotes and words available to help. If you have a good friend that will take the time to listen and show compassion. This is the only thing I know of that will help. That and forcing yourself to go through the motions of life until you find joy again. I can promise you this. Your feelings of hopelessness will pass. You won’t find happiness in another person. Although, you can cause more pain running from the right ones. Many times, i suppress my feelings and cause depression. It’s a crazy thing I guess. Three things I want to express here. You are depressed and that’s ok. Normal even. It means you aren’t a sociopath. You are alone. Many are. That could change anytime, or, being alone suits you. Just because you see no hope, doesn’t mean it’s not just around the corner. Now. Plan a day going someplace you’ve never been. I’ll drive 100 miles to see an old mill or eat at a dive others say rocks. Today can be your day. Take it.

www.stepplife.com

Founder, American Angel Works