Dating Beyond 40 “Is This All There Is”

By: Kenneth Stepp

Emptiness, aloneness, and going everywhere alone. Is that it? Since I haven’t been single for years and haven’t experienced so much first hand. The stories I hear are my friends in the long term single scene.  I get all of them. I live all of them as well. I fill the emptiness with business. The aloneness and going it alone, I take care of with my only real hobby. I am an explorer. Going from small town to small town, learning, meeting new people, and learning history. “My life rocks”. It actually does. Or. It’s as good as can be.

There have been unique pictures of someone having a bad day that I can recall. I was on the expressway the morning after Halloween. The sun was rising beautifully. A young man had been pulled over and was being handcuffed to be transported to Dekalb County Jail. That isn’t why his day was going so badly. The fact that he decided to dress as a pink ballerina may have been a mistake. I could only imagine the reception he received when he arrived. That’s a tough jail, as jails go.

“It’s just a bad day. Not a bad life” - Unknown

Time passes. Many times the passing of time heals. Not always. I have spoken to some that still complains about their ex. Even though they were divorced 12 years ago. I’m remembering one in particular. Bitterness not only still endures in her relationship with her ex. Sadly, watching her life go by in social media speed. She has allowed this bitterness to permeate most areas of her life. People like her will probably be alone forever. It’s best too. Infecting another life with that would be a shame. Surrendering to bitterness is a deal killer for happiness. She does not see what others see. Maybe that is more humane.

“Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness” - Martin Luther King Jr

I can attest to wanting to give up. Been there. I remember the light bulb going off in my head. I wrote down 5 things I was passionate about. History, people, sight seeing, old architecture, & travel. I stared at these 5 things on my list for days. I became an explorer. Traveling from town to town, meeting new people, taking pictures of my surroundings, and enjoying the different energies of each town. I am addicted. I’ve managed to create an income from it. Perk……

“I want to have fun. It's a beautiful life. You learn, you win, you lose, but you get up” - Nas

The expression, “Just go for it”, holds true in almost any situation. In mine. It meant everything. Leaving bitterness behind changed my trajectory. I wake up every morning to choose the city of the day, excited. Most girls believe us guys to all be big kids. In my case, they are correct. I walk down streets with my head on a swivel, smiling from ear to ear most days. Everything I see excites me. Finding a new town is a score for me. Many times, a good parking space is all I need to evoke a smile. One day I had such a good time, my face hurt the next morning from smiling so much.

My point to this writing is that we really can all be happy. It is a choice. I used to laugh at the self appointed philosophers that said that. It sounded so trite when I was hurting. Of course everything did. I get it now. Exploring isn’t right for everyone. But everyone can create their own “exploration”. Stop the thoughts that are eating you from inside out. Write 5 things you are passionate about. Match that with something uniquely you.

                                      “Go for it”

k@kstepp.com

Founder, American Angel Works