Dating Over 40, Life Goes On

Dating Over 40, Life Goes On

By: Kenneth Stepp

Time…… It never stops, slows down, or speeds up. It cares for no one and nothing. The clock ticks, we will never get that second back. The speed of life is measured in time. So, time is an important element is this single life we are engaged in. A life of good time, bad times, and for me at least, a lot of confusion. Before I got my legs under me, it was more bad than good. More pain than pleasure. Perhaps both pain and pleasure was intensified. I know the memory of both seems that way. Now, it’s as if life is just in constant flow mode.

Most of us in the over 40 crowd & dating, know this personally. Today is so different than before. Not before I became single. Before I learned to deal with it. I just jumped out there and fell in love with the first girl I met. Unprepared for the deep feelings. Unprepared for the coming emptiness that follows failure. Being hit broadside by the loss of love. I tanked. It took quite a while to reach this point. Not healed. But able to get through a day without crying. I created a hobby, enjoy an income from it, and it has become a passion. It has made the difference to me. My life today, really is awesome.

Discovering the baggage I packed after becoming single is far more damaging than the decades of baggage beforehand has been shocking. For me. There is no comparison. Finding ways of navigating back out of these waters has been a journey. I’m on my way though. I meet so many people, mostly girls obviously, that are dealing with the bumps and bruises of being in and out of relationships at the digital speed they run today. I’ve watched relationship statuses change twice in one week. Hard to imagine the emotional toll that has on a girl that only wants to be loved, to have a guy that she will matter to. Someone that cares how her day was.

I have met many girls. They may not have been right for me, maybe not right for me at that time. But they were all amazing. Complex, intricate, and fantastic. I can find something about every one of them that proves their awesomeness. All deserving of wonderful futures. This singles game seems tougher on the girls than the guys. From the first meeting, which can be very dangerous, to the manipulation many guys do as a game. If a guy is a player, he has it made. For the girls in his wake. Baggage is being produced for the next guy to pay for. Of course, because of my serious nature, someone pays for my damage as well. Unplanned, unavoidable.

My fellow travelers on the “searching for forever” path. We are all on an even playing field. If you want the forever thing. Gender makes no difference. Just the path., and end results. Time…. It is a factor. It affects everything. Life truly does go on and on. Some days not the direction, speed, or path we choose. It remains fluid. I wonder how much harder I would have fought for my marriage had I known. I will throw that out to my readers. The question would be this. Was it worth it? I have heard so many reasons for someone leaving someone else. It always sounds good. It may have been a great idea at the time. It was no doubt justified, all the advisors said, “Do it”. Leave their ass! Of course none of them had to live with the results of that advise. They went back to their lives they had before. You. You had to start a new life you were not suppose to ever have. Ok. I am of course talking about my experience. But, it fits in so many other stories. As time moves on for all of us. Let’s hold it together long enough to win this thing. A band of brothers & sisters ready for whatever is next.

k@kstepp.com

Founder, American Angel Works