Single Again "What Others Think"

By: Kenneth Stepp

I don’t care! Do you ever wish you could say this and be honest when you did? If you get hurt enough. You just might get there. I did. When I had a theft in my business, 2007, and my life changed forever. I learned many things from it. The first. Only people you love have the ability to hurt you. And I loved several. I had three friends I would have died for that abandoned me. After all. I was no longer able to help them anymore. Many others as well. I mean DEEP emotional trauma. As bad as it hurt, it toughened me up.

Having gone through this fire, it left me with some interesting strengths. Guilt, shame, jealousy, a control assaults do not touch me in any way now. So, manipulation using these tried and tested tools are rendered impotent to me. It’s as though I have developed a superpower. These things affected my decision making process for my adult life. Maybe even some of my childhood as well. How about you? When someone tries to control the outcome of an argument or situation by using one or some of these on you. What do you feel? How do you react? Me. I ignore them. They have zero influence on me. Like I said. A superpower. I even had someone accuse me of being a sociopath because I would not bow to their manipulation. Nope. Not a sociopath. I genuinely care for others too much for that one. I have a track record to back that up.

There are times that what others think actually matter.I love it when someone comments on one of my articles or books. Good or bad. That feels fair. It is usually a complete stranger. So, no agenda. This can be helpful for future works of mine.I still take it in the context in which it was written. But at least consider it. When a person questions my motives for something I did or am doing. It’s normally because they want to cast a judgmental eye on my actions. Not that they really care about my motives.

Case in point. My rescue mission in February 2014 of a homeless girl over 500 miles away. Her and her friend were snatched up. Her friend was raped and murdered in front of her. She was motivated enough to break free and escape. When she found me on the internet and called. She was scared to death and hadn’t eaten in 3 days. I had $50.00 in the bank. I wired her $45.00, paid $5.00 for that privilege. I had $300.00 come in from a consulting gig, packed my truck, and headed out. I spent 8 nights in a crack house trying to save her. It was pure hell. Dangerous too.I posted only once that I could use help. My private message box blew up. Fools errand, none of my business, how did she get that way, why isn’t her family helping, churches, shelters,  etc. My favorite was, “I’ll pray for her”. The ultimate way out of actually helping anyone. Something I have learned many times.

You see. If a person wants to simply judge others. They only see the situation someone is in. The person that actually cares sees a human. I didn’t think about why she was where she was. I only saw a scared girl that hadn’t eaten for three days. How or why she got there wasn’t a factor in ending her suffering. I’m a professional fighter, use to be a bodyguard. And I knew I could at least feed her. So I could solve her two biggest issues. Fear and starving. When I pulled up her face lit up. I can’t describe what that felt like for me. I mattered to someone. Not because I was helping her. Because someone actually showed up. It was a first for her.

Stop caring about what others think and your life will change immediately. You will accomplish more, have more purpose, and matter in life far more than you do now. Plus. You will enjoy life so much more.

k@kstepp.com

Founder, American Angel Works