Two Things Every Restaurant Needs

I have been frequenting a nearby Burger King recently. There are two things that keep me coming back, and it has nothing to do with the food. If a restaurant has these two things, then I can look past a little salmonella. I can munch on the fries that were dropped on the floor and served to me anyway, as long as an eating establishment contains two things:

1. A Freestyle Coke Machine serving up 100 flavors of sugar-water. These things are amazing! I can have flavors that I didn’t even know existed. I think I saw a Mr. Pibb with Orange Fanta and Lemon Herbs from Africa. I will drive 15 miles out of my way to eat at a restaurant that has one of these machines.
2. An Xlerator Hand Dryer. I will wash my hands before, during and after my meal just to get multiple experiences with this puppy. I’m fairly certain that leaving your hands under the dryer for more than 30 seconds could result in the loss of skin and broken bones. When are they going to come out with a full body one? I will strip down in the Burger King bathroom, wash my body and dry it off if in six seconds if they install a large version.