Memory Almost Full?

According to a study a few years back, we as a nation have not been remembering basic information like we used to in the “old days.” Simple things like telephone numbers, birthdays and anniversaries aren’t being stored in our own heads anymore. Apparently we are relying more on our mobile phones and computers for “life’s petty information.” I agree that I use my computers more these days for this stuff, but I think these studies are overblown. Instead of knowing everyone’s phone numbers, I’m trying hard to remember more important information like the name of the group that sang “Too Shy” from the early 1980s.

Upon receiving news of this medical study, I received a call at the time from my Aunt Rose from Solvang, California.

“Bobby, did you see this study?” she said.

“No, I’m not really up on that,” I replied, while keying in her phone number in my daughter’s cell phone.

“It says here even kids are not remembering their own home phone numbers,” she said, reading verbatim from the newspaper. “That’s dangerous Bobby. You and your whole family need to get off your computers and cell phones and take Memory Boost 2000. After you do that, you need to do mental exercises.”

“Aunty Rose, I know you mean well, but you still aren’t going to sell me on taking those herbal cures from the Middle Ages,” I said.

“No, this one is different. I know you have a place called Seeds and Weeds right around the corner from you,” she said. “Memory Boost doesn‘t cost that much. Go out and get it. I’ll even pay for it. I’m concerned about you because I love you.”

“I love you too Aunt Rose and that’s really sweet, but…” I said while being cut off.

For the next 45 minutes, I was treated to a lecture on eliminating electronics, meat, the sun, pesticides, noise, propane gas and just about everything else that comes into contact with me. Instead I should takes vitamins and herbs and buy organic. Sometimes I think Tom Cruise would be a better nephew.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, my Aunt Rose is a typical West Coast organic devotee. Her modest California home is a private GNC store stocked with every vitamin known to man. It doesn’t hurt that it overlooks a huge winery. I love visiting, but sometimes I feel like I’m in a late-night infomercial about how I can improve my life.

Aunt Rose‘s “Memory Phone Call” was on the heels of “The Dangers of Eating Frozen French Fries” phone call. I ended that conversation with, “I love my fries and if I want to die with one in my mouth, then so be it.”

“I’m not forgetting anything Aunty Rose,” I pleaded. “I’m fine.”

!F